No one said...

chapter three

The time had finally come. 7 o'clock and the time I agreed to have dinner with the strange man who had moved in next door. The seconds crawled by like years, and the minutes dragged by like what seemed an eternity until, well I heard that familiar knock.
*knock* *knock knock* *knock*
Awkwardly, I shuffled along towards the door, with a final sigh, I drew a nice fake smile to my face and let him in.
"Hey neighbour, I just realised I never asked you're name."He chuckled as he stepped inside, his shoes already off, and his hair slightly wet, obviously showered recently which proved to me he was a man of his word.
"And I never asked yours."I shrugged,  he looked at me with an emotion over his face that i couldn't quite decipher.
With a smile on his cute face, "oh, my named Tegan, now your turn?"He smiled happily.
"Oh, its ciel."I shrugged and lead him into my apartment.
"Nice place you've got, I would've said the other day but it was quite the situation."He laughed and I furrowed my brows.
"Why are you being nice?"I asked accidently aloud.
"Cant a guy just be nice?"he asked with a similar expression to mine.
"In my experience, no. So what do you want from me?"I asked rather aggressively.
"Well, I like you, I want to be friends, I want to help you be cured of you're mysophobia, and I'm determined to help."He grinned, making me confused.
"But why?"I asked cautiously.
"Alot of people say I'm too much, and I bother people quite a bit, and as much as you have a cold exterior, I can tell you're actually really kind, but I can imagine this cruel world hasn't been to kind to you, so I feel that with us both having hardships, we can find solice in each other."He shrugged, and my breath hitched in my throat.
H-he wants to be friends?
"So can we?"
"Be friends?"
"Yes silly."
"Um, sure I guess, but I dont think itll work with my problems."I sighed.
"I told you, I'm gonna help you get better."He smiled brightly as we sat down and tucked into dinner.
"So how long have you had you're disorder?"He asked, raising a fork of pasta to his mouth.
"Oh um, since high school."I shrugged, pushing my meatballs around on my plate with my fork.
"What caused it?"He quizzed, looking at me deeply.
"A bad break up."I frowned, not keen on where the questioning was going.
"Oh, sorry, that must have been an awkward and hard question to answer considering we've only just become acquainted, so I'm very sorry."He said, sympathy on his face.
"Its okay, I've actually written a book about it, im not ashamed or embarrassed about it or anything, nor is it personal or upsetting anymore, im kind of dissosiated against it now, it doesn't really bother me, but I cant tell anyone who he is which I'm kind of relieved about, I don't need anymore attention."I smiled weakly, trying to reassure him he hadn't upset me.
"Okay, well, I'm always here, and I'll make sure to read you're book, it might help me get a better understanding of you."He smiled brightly, his eyes squinting shut as his cheeks raised, revealing a perfect smile.
"Oh um okay."I blushed.
"Well I've finished, thank you for the meal, it was honestly amazing he grinned.
"Okay, shall I show you out?"I asked feeling more comfortable with him, till I realised I knew nothing of him, and he knew lots about me.
"That'd be nice."He smirked, an eyebrow raised inquisitively.
As he walked the hallway to the front door, he leaned in my door way and we looked awkwardly at each other for a while.
"Again tomorrow?"He asked happily.
"I guess."I smiled at him. My first proper smile in what seemed like forever.
Slowly he raised his hand, which made me nervous, it finally stopping at my cheeks turning my face to the side as he leaned in, and placed a small kiss there.
My cheeks started to blush furiously, I hadn't been kissed since....that day. The last kiss we shared. It had been what seemed like years. In fact, it had been years.
"W-what are you doing?!"I screeched and he chuckled at me.
"Get comfortable, itll help you get better, but dont wash that off, try to keep it on as long as possible, it's part of your recovery."He smiled and walked away casually.
What the fuck?
Part if my recovery? I shut the door, and leaned against it, my fingers tracing where he had kissed.
"I cant fall in love...not again. I dont want to get hurt, he will leave just like Jared did....I cant... do it again."I cried aloud to myself, endless tears pouring down my face, my guard higher then ever before.
The little voice in the back if my mind decided to chime in.
'What if he didn't leave? What if opening up lead to a future and happiness together? A quaint little house and children?'
That...could be possible. But I nearly died last time. Can I really afford to take the risk?
Can I?