Someone once remembered

You have no idea

Confusion

Wrapped

Like a ring in a woman's ovaries

Like the snipping sound

Of a cut baby maker

Tears welt

Like the marks of ashamed truths

And the disembodied lies

And i say again

I can not stand to be alive

While you sit

High and dry

Taking what was suppose to be mine

Now I'm stuck

Praying to a god

that would rather see me in a rut

And our parents

Are full of lies

And hiding spys

Do you hear these words

i silently regret as i write?

Do you hear the anger

I hold when i clench my fist

And tell myself to keep hold?

Do you hear my desperate screams of pure agony

As they look at me with such pity

And tears that wet their dry ungrateful faces

I am sick

I am so sick

i have a disease

Its called

The truth

And my cure is to write

No matter the lies

Those people with their eyes

Full of beautiful mistakes

Look at me

And see a monster

That they cant control

"I am sick!" I want to scream in their faces

To make them realize

Their whips of obedience

And respect

Have welted tears on my back

And their selfish kids

All point and laugh

Telling me

what a freak i am

what an ugly slut i am

What an ugly face i have

What an ugly body i have

They throw their stones

Quite literally

And tell me to die

They grab my wrist

And ask me,

"What are you fucking emo or something?"

Emo slut

Emo pig

Suicidal freak

Emo, emo, emo

Their words are like a gun

I put to my head

When i think of being dead

Emo, ungrateful, selfish, suicidal freak

"You think bleaching your hair is going to change anything? You don't blend in, moron. You're still a freak."

And the teachers are all the same

"You're to beautiful to think the way you do."

Oh, if you only knew

Freak

Freak

Freak

Is what they all scream

In my face

And behind my back

"Stop writing like that. Its sad and scary."

You have no idea

You have no idea

You have no idea

How sad i really am

How scared i really am

How when i wake up i still have to swallow back the thought, "maybe i I'm not worth it."

You have no idea

How hard i try every night

To not break apart

And smash the windows

Of my brain

The sharp edges cutting into my flesh

As i wait for death

You have no idea