[VERY OLD] DSAF Randomness (Requests Closed And New Book Out)

Shitposts

This is for ToastyToast11. Hope you enjoy these!

"Dave!" Dave runs over to Jack. "Yeah honey?" Dave then realizes what he says and turns a little red. Jack turns extremely red and faints. Dave smirks and waits for him to get up. Once he does Dave says. "Are you ok honey?" Jack turns red again and hides his face. Dave would say that for a few years and get that same reaction every time.

"Spooorrttttsssyyyyy!" Jack groans and ignores him. "Spooooooooooooorrrrrrttttssssyyyy!" Jack ignores him but anyone could tell he was about to lose it. "SPOOOO!-" "WHAT?!" Dave doesn't talk for a few seconds with a huge smirk on his face. "Hi." Mike walks in to Dave running away from Jack with a chainsaw screaming "OH SHIT OH SHIT!" Needless to say, Dave never did it again.

"Do you love me?" Steven asks Peter. "I tell him only partially." "DON'T." "I only love my bed and my momma I'm sorry." Steven slaps his boyfriend for being dumb. "I CALL ABUSE!"

"I hate everything." "Even me?~" Says Dave. "Yes." Dave begins to cry while a sad violin is being played by Zircon.

This one is before everyone knows that Steven and Peter are dating.

Steven is sleeping while Zircon comes in with a drum and Dave with a camera. Zircon nods at Dave and begins banging on the drum. Steven groans and cuddles more into something behind him. Jack turns on the light and everyone is either in shock, or is laughing their ass off. Steven is cuddling into Peter. "YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH MY BROTHER?!" They both jump up. "I-I CAN EXPLAIN!"

"D. Dad, how did you two get together?" "Well..." "Dave! I hate you so much!" "Love you too~" Jack turns red and faints. Dave picks him up and takes him to his house. "How did you know where I live?" "I have cameras everywhere Sportsy!" "...Why me." "Cause I love you~" Jack faints again. Dave carries him into the bedroom and cuddles him. "So the next day I asked him out and he said yes!" ". . . . . What. The. Fuck?!" "Language!"

"I MISS YOOUUUU!" "I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN GONE FOR AN HOUR!" "PLEASE COME HOOOMMMMEEE!" Peter gives Steven the puppy dog eyes over the phone. "Ha! Jokes on you, neither of us have eyes so it doesn't affect me!" Both of them begins to cry, Peter because he couldn't give him the eyes and Steven because he couldn't see his boyfriend's eyes. Everyone around Steven just slowly back away, terrified on how he's able to cry.

"Unkie Steven, Zircon told me Unkie Peter stabbed you with his sword. Is that true?" Violet asks Steven. Steven spits out the water he was drinking and blushes. "W-What Vi?" "And was his sword sharp?" Steven hides his tomato face in his hands while Zircon dies laughing on the floor.

"Sportsy, you need to control your daughter." "She's your daughter too, you can do it yourself." Jack says, rolling his eyes. "SHE ATE MY KNIFE!" "WHAT?!?!" Both of them go to the hospital. The knife had somehow disintegrated in her stomach. Dave and Jack were both relieved, and terrified.

"PETER I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE!" Topaz runs in to find Steven and Peter playing Mario Kart and Steven getting fucked over by Peter. "I WILL DIVORCE YOU!" Topaz shakes his head and leaves.

And that's all folks! In my opinion, these were hillarious. Hope you enjoyed!