Karma's A B**** (Suicidal Deku AU)

Chapter 4: Notebook

As Izuku walked into his house he had saw Katsuki and Inko on the couch.

Izuku was confused for a second, but remembered that he had showed Katsuki his cuts. Inko looked at Izuku with watery eyes. The other stared at the ground.

Inko got up from the couch, and asked,

"Izuku.....why?.. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me about this?" With eyes watery she couldn't see anything.

Izuku looked at the ground ashamed of his actions.

Then something in Izuku had snapped.

He started crying.

Izuku looked at Inko and Bakugou, holding his chest.

"Tell me.....tell me. Please tell me the reason why. Why Can't I be Okay?! Why can't I ever be okay!? It's like as if everyone wants me dead! I can't live a happy life knowing that I can't be a hero, knowing that I'm going to get bullied! I can't do this anymore, I want to die!" Yelled Izuku.

He couldn't take it anymore. He fell to the ground crying.

"Please tell me, why can't I be okay?"

"Oh Izuku! It's okay. It's okay. Please, just tell me what your going through next time, okay. Please, don't scare me like that!" Exclaimed Inko while she was crying.

Meanwhile Katsuki looked down, clenching his fists.

He felt guilt and regret.

He had caused all of this.

He didn't know that he would be able to push Izuku to the point where he started hurting himself.

Katuski felt bad, but he couldn't speak. Instead, he gathered his things and left the Midoriya's apartment.

 
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It's been a few weeks since the incident where Izuku's mother found out about his cutting problem.

Soon she had forgotten what happened. Katsuki had also stopped being aggressive towards Izuku. But no one had found out about his notebook.

—Saturday 2:50 a.m.—

Izuku's mind was filling with suicidal thoughts once again. He thought of the many ways he could die.

A noose, overdose by pills, cutting a vein and bleeding out, stabbing himself in the chest, drowning himself, jumping off a building.... and many more.

He got up from his bed and went to his desk. He took out his notebook and took a pen. He flipped through the pages of his drawings.

Drawings of his feelings. He got to a clear page and started to write:

My Depression

My depression feels like I was thrown into an extremely deep pit.
Slowly I'm falling to the bottom.
But still, there is one person trying to get me out.

My mom.

She has worked so hard to take care of me by myself.

But I feel like it was a waste of her time to care for a person that won't even be here anymore.

My low self esteem has been hurting me every day.

I always get made fun of at school. I feel so broken.

And maybe I was designed to be alone.

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Izuku stopped writing. He read what he had wrote. He covered his mouth as he got up and sat on his bed.

Tears came out of his eyes, he didn't want to feel like this.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I- I can't do this anymore! I can't do this fucking useless life anymore, it's a waste of time. I can't even do anything right. They're all right I should just die!" Cried Izuku.

Izuku cried, he let everything out. But he couldn't make a noise.

He just laid down on his bed, crying till he fell asleep.

He didn't want to feel like this. He wanted to end his suffering.

He truly believed that he should die.

——Chapter 4 complete——
Any thing that happens in this story, do not attempt! But, for this chapter, if you are feeling depressed, please tell someone that you trust about it. Please don't keep it to yourself!