Streets Is Watching {COMPLETED}

SIW - 16.

Beyoncé

"Count to ten." I said to my daughter, plopping down on the couch as she read over the book someone had given her. She looked at me and began biting her fingernails – a habit I was trying desperately to break.

I removed her fingers out of her mouth and watched as she counted to ten. I thought she was going to keep going, but she just looked at me.

I laughed, "Keep going. You know what comes after ten?"

"Uh," She said as she climbed in my lap, "Elem." I couldn't help but to laugh at her little country self.

"Good job baby. And what else?"

"I not play anymore mommy."

I sighed and sat back as she grabbed onto my hair, "Okay, spell your name."

I've been off work for the past two days and today makes my last off day before I was back on schedule for the next seven days. I spent most of my free time hanging with my daughter, as usual. Besides a few work buddies, two girls from high school, and my sister, I rarely hung out with anyone.

And of course Jay, but fuck him. I can't believe he was really pissed about something that happened between Cameron and I months ago, but according to him I had no reason to be upset about him and Taj. The double standards are real.

I haven't spoken to him for the past three days, and he haven't even called to check on his child. Even when I would take Cori over to his mom's, he was never present.

Something in me wanted to hit him up first, but my pride was something serious. I was worried though, but I know if he was seriously in danger or something, his mother would know and she would've told me.

"Spell mommy's name." I said to Cori after she had successfully spelled her first and last name.

She gasped and clasped her hands together, "M-O-M-M-Y!"

I laughed and clapped for her, "Yay, good job! But spell mommy's real name?"

She looked at me strangely and I just stared at her, noticing how much she kind of favored my mom. I could feel my energy shift soon as Tina came to my head.

It was rare that I thought about my parents and when I did, I only felt hatred for them. I hated when my mind would drift back to them. Maybe it would be different if we had any good memories, but all of the memories with my parents were horrifying.

"What else mommy?" I heard Cori say, making me break away from those horrible flashbacks.

"Aww, good job baby!" I said, kissing her forehead even though I wasn't paying her any attention. I turned a movie on for us to watch but eventually she drifted off to sleep just like I wanted her to.

I kept the Netflix show playing, and laid her down on the couch. I laid a blanket on top of her and made sure she was okay before walking to my room. Reaching in my jewelry box, I pulled out the rolled blunt Jay had left over here. He definitely wasn't getting this shit back.

I moved the sliding doors open and stepped out onto my balcony with the blunt and lighter in one hand and my phone in the other. I kept the sliding door open just enough to hear if Cori woke up.

This alone time was exactly what I needed. I don't even smoke since my job sometimes do drug testing, but I needed this. I've been so stressed out behind Jay that I felt like I was losing myself.

A couple of puffs in and I found myself reminiscing on how we used to be. We weren't perfect at all, but what we had then was so much better than what we had now.