[ONHOLD] forest » Tom Hiddleston x Reader (15+)

she doesn't have to know

( c h a p t e r  VII )

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❝ Love is not cruel, we are cruel. Love is not a game, we have made a game out of love. ❞

— Rupi Kaur

     THE ACTIVITY HAS FINISHED AND you were now walking carelessly through the camp wishing you had your earphones to help you cope up with the minutes and hours that you have been staring at the other campers getting terribly along. Saroise has found new friends through that arts and craft activity but you didn't. You were too busy trying to ignore Tom who quite had his eyes on you the whole time. And to be completely honest, you were terrified at what he might've interpreted with that kiss you shared earlier in the morning.

You couldn't find Harry nor did you see any signs of Tom. Now you were starting to think this trip was a bad idea and a fast way to turn you insane. You watch as the other kids talked loudly to each other. They laughed making you extremely nervous at the subject they may be talking about; was it you? Impossible.

You settle to the edge of the lake where it was a safe distance away from the others. You sat under the shade of the tree staring at the water that moves as the wind hits the surface. Your head turned when you hear laughter coming from behind you, deep into the trees where the green leaves and wild flowers blossom. You pull yourself up, curious at who might be behind those greenery. You tried peaking only to see bits and pieces of the figures that talked and laughed constantly. The laugh sounded like it was from a woman, she sounded like a fresh flower and the gentle water—so terribly pleasing to listen to.

You see a foot of a man on the grass, a large white blanket spread across the small clearing, a half open basket, and finally, a woman with blonde hair. You push the leaves to reveal yourself to see Camilla and Tom, sitting together while eating fruits and biscuits. A date, perhaps. Is this the reason why he didn't want you to speak about that small scandalous kiss?

Camilla looks at you and smiles widely. Warm and pleasant, she was. There was no reason for any man to dislike her. Tom only looks at you as if he was devoid of emotion. So still and quiet that it scared you to your bones. "(Y/N), right?" You nod your head at her deciding to not look at Tom. "Why don't you come join us? Have some tea or some cookies." You almost shake your head no to refuse if only she hadn't stood up and pull you to sit next to them.

"Thank you but I believe I shouldn't be here. I feel like I've done something rude and I might've intruded your conversation." You explain and stared at her face, her perfect white teeth, green eyes and long battering eyelashes.

"There's no such thing, (Y/N). Don't be shy." She chuckles and made you more uncomfortable. You take the cup of tea she had just poured and sipped it to ease away the hungriness you were actually starting to feel. Still, you refuse to even steal a glance at the man you kissed for no reason. "How are you adjusting to Camp Firefly?" She questions you as you out down your cup.

"It's just been two days but now I'm not too excited to continue the the remaining two weeks and five days." You answer honestly.

"May I know why?" She followed and pushed herself closer to the man beside her.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just homesick."

"That'll pass, (Y/N). It always happens to campers, especially with this type of program you are signed up to. But don't worry, we'll be your family for now." She advices and you only smile not knowing what the best response should be. "Have you already planned for college?" She continues and you had no doubt it was only to create small talks. Otherwise it would be too awkward.

"I wouldn't be here if I had plans for college." You deadpanned since you had no better answer for that stupid question she asked. If you had planned for college, you wouldn't waste your time in this silly forest with silly people; you would be packing your belongings and moving to a different state. But you were unfortunate to have the later.

Camilla only turned quiet, perhaps running out of questions to ask you even though there were a lot. About to leave the whole scene, you were interupted by another female counselor who came running to Camilla. "Can you come here? We need your help." The woman says and Camilla looks at Tom who only shakes his head in approval. She stands up leaving you and the man alone without even a glance.

You had no other choice but to finally look at Tom who you didn't know was staring at you the whole time. "Is she the reason why you didn't want me to talk about what happened earlier this morning?" You asks. He only nods, no other answer. "I'm sorry for kissing you. I didn't know anything about your relationship."

"Just like I said, she doesn't have to know." You scoff, disgusted at his words.

"She doesn't have to know." You repeat, fighting tears that threaten to fall. "Are you fucking serious?" You raise your voice not even caring if anyone hear. You stand up only to be caught by his hand. "She doesn't have to know." You sigh. "That's whay destroys everything. I've been there before and you have no right to tell me that. Now let go of my hand." You yank it pulling yourself to walk away but then again, he holds you.

"(Y/N), it's nothing serious, me and her." You crease your eyebrows in question of his morals even when you  neither have one.

"It doesn't matter. That kiss, it was nothing serious as well but if you make it to be, you'll destroy everyone. Including her and me." You say.

"I don't love her, (Y/N). We're just a fling." Tom counters and you only shake your head in annoyance.

"I told you it doesn't matter. You have already associated yourself with her, now it will never go away." You explain, keen on letting him know that what happened will never happen again.

"But I've associated myself with you already as well." He tells you trying to get you to contradict what you have just said.

"Then stop yourself. I can't be a cause of another break-up." You tell him gently now, hoping he would understand.

"But I've already stopped myself being caught up with her ever since I laid my eyes on you. Ever since you walked inside the camp."

"It's too early for that Tom. Don't get reeled away with the currents. I'm sorry but I can't do whatever you have asked even when our feelings meet the same ground." You pull your arm to your side about to leave only to see a speechless Tom.

"Our feelings are mutual?" He questions but you decide to leave him be. Besides that was what you were good at.

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