Middle of Two Mirrors

Overthinking

Is it a suffering or a disease?
Overthinking, it feels like a sin,
Thinking of the outcomes of all this,
Overthinking, can't escape it.

All these thoughts on my mind,
Affect me day and night,
I try to stop by blocking my mind,
But it costs me sleepless nights.

Thinking of the past horrors,
How they used to hurt me,
Thinking of the present,
Not a single person who didn't hurt me.

Tired of telling the truth,
People not believing me,
How can I explain to them,
It's the result of past events.

I stare at a point, it seems like I'm dead,
They tell their story, my mind is already engaged,
The pressure that is felt causes physical pain,
To think how I lost the fake friends that I had gained.

Have you ever seen me alone in my room?
Have you ever caught me staring at the moon?
Have you ever seen me eating my food alone?
If you haven't, then it's nothing that you've known.

I start looking at my pictures,
Admiring the way I shine,
But then I overthink and realise,
It's me whom I can't recognise.

Overcoming my depression,
Now I feel less pressure,
But it turns into aggression,
Sometimes overthinking comes as a desire.

I think if they think about me,
They say I have no one, and I agree,
I wait for weeks for my phone to ring,
No rings, it's alright, that's what I think.

I think every time I blink,
But I never think what people think,
I think of different situations to have a link,
It's funny how I think of the times I overthink.