This shady bitch...(Bakugo x Cubby!Reader) (Discontinued for now)

15: Those Useless Feelings....

Angsty fluff I guess???? Fluffy angst??? Who knows???

Also trigger warning for suicidal thoughts, low key abusive parents, and that kinda shit in general

"....I'm sorry you had to see that...." You mumbled to Katsuki as you put your phone up.

"What the hell was that?" He asked, not having a loud tone in his voice anymore.

"...Mom was worried about me, that's all...." You said, choking back tears.

"Sure didn't sound like it. Does this happen all the time???" You looked up at him.

"Yeah, it's not unusual. We just. We're different people who misunderstand each other so.....It frustrates her since I'm not what she expected....." Any sense of confidence or your usual self was thrown out of the window. Now, the depression was kicking in at full force.

"You never told me you dealt with this." He said and you shrugged.

"Why would I? I just get yelled at and talked to like that and stuff.....There are kids who have it worse than me...." You replied he just pulled you onto the floor next to him.

"That doesn't justify the shit she says. You deal with a lot of shit and if she's making you cry, it's obviously affecting you, dumbass." You just wiped a tear onto your arm.

"I-I'm used to it by now, Bakugo. M-My parents have a temper and they say some fucked up shit sometimes. I-I just have to deal with it. I-It's not a big deal." He pulled you into his chest. You were so confused, but you weren't opposed.

"Idmtknwwhmycmr." You said, words getting lost since they were muffled.

"It's a bid deal if you're gonna be this sad about it. I'll care if I want to, idiot." He said, seeming to understand you.

"......Whmrybemgshnmcermghtnmw?????" You said quietly. If you weren't quiet, then you'd scream.

"I'm not being all nice and shit, I'm trying to make sure you're okay. And you're obviously not okay after that damn call." He was calmer. You could still tell that he was mad, but he wasn't mad at you at all. You just sighed into his chest. You hated people seeing you break down.

"You're holding something back, stop it." He said and you pulled away.

"..w-what??" You asked in a whisper.

"If you need to scream, then scream. Just stop holding shit back. I'll fucking listen to you if that's what you need."

"Y-You sure????" You asked.

"Dammit, of course I'm sure!!!! I pulled you into my damn chest, idiot!!!!" You nodded your head and started bawling.

"I jus-...it....iT FEELS LIKE I'M NEVER GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!! I MEAN. I-I TRY MY BEST A-AND SOMETIMES I-I D-DON'T GET SHIT BUT!!!! THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN JUST T-TREAT ME LIKE YOU H-HATE ME!!!!!!!!" You yelled, obviously talking about your parents.

"I-I MEAN!!! I GET THAT I'M NOT THE K-KID Y-YOU GUYS WANTED B-BUT YOU C-CAN STOP SHOWING THAT YOU H-HATE ME!!!!! I-iT'S M-MORTIFYING HEARING YOUR OWN DAD CALL YOU A F-FULL-BLOWN FUCKING RETARD W-WHEN HE THOUGHT Y-YOU DIDN'T H-HEAR HIM!!!!!!! I-IT DOES A LOT WHEN HE A-ADMITS THAT H-HE THINKS YOU'RE A D-DISAPPOINTMENT!!!!!!!!! I-IT'S NEVER GONNA B-BE ENOUGH!!!!! I-I'M J-JUST USELESS A-AND LAZY TO T-THEM A-AND IT HURTS A LOT!!!!!! I-.....I J-JUST WANTED TO B-BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR T-THEM BUT NOW, I-I DON'T EVEN W-WANT THEM IN MY LIFE!!!!! A-AND THEN TH-THEY'LL GET OVER THAT D-DAMN TANTRUM T-THEY THREW AND A-APOLOGIZE!!!!! B-BUT IT DOESN'T M-MEAN ANYTHING B-BECAUSE I-I'M JUST GONNA G-GET TOLD THE S-SAME S-SHIT AGAIN!!!!!! I-I'M TOO F-FUCKING WEIRD FOR A-ANYONE IN THIS DAMN F-FAMILY AND I JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY!!!!!!! I F-FEEL LIKE I-I CAN'T B-BREATHE AROUND THEM A-AND IT HURTS A LOT!!!!!!! A-AND THEY JUST......THEY'RE N-NEVER GONNA UNDERSTAND IT!!!!!! TH-THEY DON'T GET A-A WORD I S-SAY AND I-IT FEELS LIKE I'M S-STANDING B-BEHIND A WINDOW OR SOMETHING!!!!! I-IT FEELS FORCED!!!!! I-I JUST WANT TO BE RESPECTED!!!!! I-I FEEL LIKE I-I'M NEVER GONNA B-BE E-ENOUGH FOR THEM AND!!!!!! I D-DON'T CARE ANYMORE, I JUST WANNA G-GET A-AWAY!!!!!!! I G-GOTTA GET AWAY AND G-GO SOMEWHERE P-PEOPLE WILL U-UNDERSTAND ME!!!!!! I JUS-......." You took a deep breath and looked at Katsuki, who looked shocked that you were holding this all in.

".....I just don't wanna feel like I'm an outcast anymore, Katsuki. I-I just.....I can't stand being around a bunch of people who aren't ever gonna g-get a word I say......." He pulled you into a tight hug and buried his face in the crook of your neck. You were glad that it was dark so he couldn't see just how red your face was.

You stayed like that for what felt like hours. No talking, no moving, the only sound being your shaky breaths followed by rain and thunder. You felt at peace with him like this. It was bliss. Then, he pulled away.

"You never told me any of this." He said, a look of desperation on his face.

"I didn't think I had to. I didn't wanna bother you....."

"......Now I just feel like an asshole for calling you that......" Wow. He was thinking of that one instance???? It felt like years ago.

"You couldn't have known, Kacchan." You said, placing a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

"You didn't have to go through this alone, you know. You've always been joking around and shit. But. You're hurting, aren't you?" His voice was really quiet now. It was just above a whisper.

"....yeah, it stung a little. I just....I didn't think it mattered too much, everyone has problems." You said, scratching the back of your head.

"Yeah, but they don't have your problems which you need to talk about instead of bottling up all the damn time." He said, blatantly calling you out.

"I guess you're right....I can talk to you right?" You asked.

"Yeah, you can talk to me." He said, and just then, the power came back on.

"Wanna finish that round of Mario Kart?" You asked, no longer crying.

"I'm gonna win this time!!!!!" And just like that, everything was back to normal. Two competitive friends playing Mario Kart like their lives depended on it.

A weight had been lifted on your chest that night. Little did you know, though, that another one would be put down in its place.