Dick Grayson One-Shots

RIVALS

*Requested by LunaticWriter225*

*This is weird and funny as shit also there is mild cursing.*

*Robin is 10 in this*

Robin was currently dangling above a boiling pot of acid.

Why?

Because he's Robin and Robin's get kidnapped.

As he tried to be up with an escape plan he heard arguing. Confused he looked down. Maybe they were talking about Batman?

Still fairly new to the job he hoped his mentor would come to help him.

But as he listened he became slightly amused by the situation.

"I'm Batman's greatest foe. Therefore I should be the one to kill him." Poison Ivy yelled.

"Um, actually its Puddin. And as his girlfriend, I should be able to kill him." Harley shot back.

"I'm the worst female villain!" they yelled in sync.

"I can hear you guys. And frankly, I'm pretty sure Batman hates Catwoman more."

Both women looked up in shock at the boy surprised he had the audacity to speak.

"And how's that?" Poison Ivy snapped.

"Well, he constantly talks about her. And they always seemed roughed up after seeing each other." The boy inquired looking at the girls.

"Hmm. Well, we obviously need to have a talk with Catwoman. But tell me who would you rather have kill you me-" she gestured to herself "-or Harley." she said doing the same hand gesture as before. But this time dedicated at Harley.

"Is not dying an option?"

"Nope," Harley sang as she began to swing her bat around as practice.

"Well, will you tell me why I'm here?"

"Sure! To catch Batman!"

"He won't come. I'll die for 'The sake of the mission.' You won't get any reward after this but I guess I'll be gone." the boy joked sadly.

Poison Ivy felt herself frown. 'Poor kid. Too bad he has to die.'

"Before he dies we should teach him something."

"Like what?"

"Well I mean he hasn't had the sex talk yet. And he doesn't know that Batman is fucking Catwoman."

"We'll give it to him then! Before we kill him!"

The boy (still hanging above boiling acid looked at them confused.

'What are they talking about?'

"Ok... I guess." Poison Ivy muttered.

"Yay!" the woman cheered grinning.

She looked up towards Robin, "When two people love each other very much they fuck. Fucking is when a boy takes his-"

She was cut off short by a black-clad hand.

Poison Ivy's eyes went wide as she began to run.

But not before throwing a bomb at the chains holding Robin.

'This is how I die.'

That's when the boy felt himself be caught in mid-air by none other Than Batman!

"She's getting away!" the boy yelled.

"You matter more right now." came the gruff reply.

'But... the mission.'

Batman set the boy down on the platform and started to check for injuries. When he found none he stood up and offered Dick a hand.

The boy took it and stood up slowly.

As they walked out of the abounded building still holding hands like father and son the boy looked up and asked a simple question.

"What's sex? And fucking?"

*Bouns*

As the two supervillains stood under the bridge panting from their run they began to talk.

"I can't believe you tried to give Robin the sex talk."

"What?!? It was fine. He's going to lead sooner or later."

The other woman could only groan.

"I'm still Batmans worst female villain."

"No your not!"

"Yes, I am!"

And the two once again began to bicker.