Trying to Fix You

Chapter 17 {He Came Back to Fix the Broken}

The next morning Madyson didn't even want to get out of bed. 

She felt depressed and 

worthless. 

There was no point in anything anymore.

What was the point in going to school?

How did anyone expect her to get a job?

Who would hire someone that killed their brother? 

Nobody understood; 

who could understand this type of pain? 

She slowly threw the covers off her body and walked unsteadily to the bathroom. 

She grabbed the bottle of pills from the sink. 

She took one,

then another...

....and another. 

She took the last pill and looked up into the mirror at her tired eyes with dark circles beneath them. 

It was like looking at a stranger, 

a stranger in a familiar setting. 

She didn't recognize this useless, 

ugly, 

sad person before her. 

She didn't understand why this person was here in the place of her brother and herself. 

She backed up against the wall as her eyes began to fill with tears. 

She slid down the wall in defeat and pulled her knees to her chest before burying her head in her arms. 

She sat there and cried for what seemed like hours, 

she could feel the day passing 

but she couldn't move.

That's when it happened....she heard him and she felt the soft touch of his hand on her shoulder.

"Live, Mady...you have to live."

She lifts her head at the sound of his voice and turns to her left slowly. Her frown is soon replaced with a large smile as she throws her arms around his neck. "You're back."

"Of course, I would never leave when you need me the most."

Madyson pulls away with a saddened expression. "But you did leave me. You left me alone in that psych ward, I needed you."

Lucas shakes his head. "You didn't need me, Mads, you needed to heal. You wouldn't have been able to if I had stayed."

Madyson motions to her tired eyes and tear stricken face with wide eyes. "Do I look healed to you? I'm a mess and Dad...he's..."

Lucas pushes a few strands of hair from her eyes. "I know, I know. It's going to take a while. Dad...he's...hurting more than you think."

"We're all hurting, why does he have to act so..."

Lucas interrupts her sentence as if he already knew what she was thinking before it was spoken. "He lost his son, Mads. He feels like he can't hold anything together, he feels like he's losing his family."

Madyson stares at him a moment before disputing his statement. "He's not losing me, he's pushing me away."

Lucas looks at her, intently before calling her out. "Kind of like you've been doing to everyone?"

Madyson looks down at her hands, realizing the similarity between what her father has been doing to her and what she has been doing to her friends. She thought it was better for everyone that way.

Lucas quickly shakes his head, understanding the thoughts flying through her head. "It's not better, for anyone. Don't push people away Mads. You push people away in the hardest time of your life and that's when you need them the most."

Madyson looks over at him sadly and speaks with a hoarse voice. "What good is any of it if you're gone?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Mads, we'll be together again. Just think of it like a long vacation...I'll be laying beneath the sun, listening to the ocean in Hawaii." He looks over at her and laughs softly, trying to ease her mind.

She laughs along with him as tears continue to fall slowly. "You always did love the beach." She sits there starring at him with hopeful eyes. "You promise we'll be together again?"

"I promise...but you have to do something for me."

"Anything."

"You have to let go. I can't consume your every thought. You have to move on, it wasn't your fault."

She takes his hands and lowers her head as tears fall from her eyes. "I can't, I've tried. I can't forget you."

Lucas smiles and kisses her hand. "You don't have to forget me, Sis. You just have to remember about everyone else. You have a big heart, don't let it go to waste. Open it to other people...you can do amazing things. Don't disappoint me; make your life count for the both of us...live it to the fullest...plus one." He smirks at his sister.

Madyson smiles and pulls Lucas in for another hug. He holds her tightly before whispering in her ear. "Can you do one more thing for me?"

She pulls away with curious eyes, waiting for his request.

"Could you tell Shay I love her...but it's time for her to let go. She doesn't need to be sad anymore."

Madyson nods and whispers. "Of course."

She feels him pull away and stand up from his position on the floor. She stares up at him with eyes full of tears. She didn't know if she was dreaming or maybe she really was seeing him like she used to but either way it was exactly what she needed. She missed him so much, but she had faith that she would see him again. "I love you, Luke."

"I love you for more than ever."

She can see him fade away in front of her but she doesn't protest, she can't. She can feel herself fading away right along with him until she is lying on the bathroom floor, completely unaware of the world around her.