12am | Jinmin

9:40pm

"That night. The one when I sent you that late text." Seokjin began slowly, trying to piece the words together in his head. "I was at the rooftop. Sitting."

Jimin stayed silent, his hand beginning to rub and knead the blonde's.

"I didn't— I mean— I knew why. I knew why I was there. I wanted to end it—"

His voice was shaky, and his eyes were starting to feel hot. "Everyday, it felt painful to go on. It's the same thing all the time, work, home, work, home— I felt suffocated. I felt lonely. Sure, I had my family but I couldn't ask for help, it'd be too awkward and you know them, they would think my head is in cahoots."

"You guys were busy with your lives. I mean— we do talk but—" The blonde slipped his hands away from Jimin's and covered his own eyes with his palms— "every time I initiate anything it never happens, it felt like I didn't even matter. I felt like I was talking at a different wavelength and no one could hear or understand me."

"Fuck, I sound like a fucking baby." He cursed, digging the balls of his hands deeper into his eye sockets in hope that he'd stop tearing up.

"I couldn't tell you how I feel. You were the one closest to me but it didn't feel right. I know you'd take care of me but I couldn't let you handle that burden. I didn't want to. I want you to lean on me, to have no worries about me. I rather worry about you instead."

"I wrote my feelings down everyday but it felt like I was writing my own suicide notes. It just pushed me nearer and nearer to the edge until I found myself hoping and praying that I don't wake up the next morning."

At this point Seokjin's body began to shake in Jimin's arms, trying to suppress his wails and keeping a constant breathing pattern.

He must seem pathetic right now.

"I tried to get with other people, Jimin. They didn't feel right and they never stayed. I didn't want them to stay, it felt wrong. I reached out to you, hoping that it'll make me feel better and it did. Today's the first time I've felt happy in months."

Jimin slowly peeled away Seokjin's hands from his face, meeting with puffy red eyes.

The shorter male has been crying too.

"W-Why are you crying?"

The raven mustered up a weak smile, chuckling faintly, "you told me we'll suffer together, hyung. Not only physically but emotionally as well. Please depend on me more, please reach out to me more. All of us hate seeing you hurt but it's especially painful for me, hyung. You can forget them but don't leave me out of your world."

"I can't believe I almost lost you just like that." Jimin whispered, wiping away the tears cascading down Seokjin's cheeks.

"I didn't want to burden you, Jimin-ah."

"You're never a burden. My mediocre shoulders are here for you to lean on, hyung. Not as wide as yours, but they're welcoming. So please don't hide anything from me anymore." Jimin's voice was filled with sadness and he tried his best to get his message through. Seokjin's an important piece in his life and that's the only piece he isn't willing to let go or lose.

Jimin let his hyung cry until he felt better, whispering reassurances and rubbing his arm soothingly.

Both of them stared into each other's eyes. Seokjin realized how close they were when he felt like he was starting to get cross-eyed and when he felt the tips of their noses touch. He saw the way Jimin's eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips, licking his own absentmindedly. It's weird, Seokjin's pretty sure the raven looked like he longed for his lips.

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(a) lean in closer
(b) pull away and sleep
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