Minhyuk, Hyungwon found out, had been given a new, recently-approved drug that had already been tested and had just hit the market. Dr. Irving had told Minhyuk about it during his evaluation before asking Minhyuk if he'd like to try the new medication, and Minhyuk had agreed, telling Dr. Irving that he'd felt the previous one losing its effectiveness.
"Bipolar," Minhyuk explained to Hyungwon on the walk back to their rooms after class had finished. "You like to put a name with things, right? I'm bipolar. It's like you're spinning out of control in two opposite directions, and you can't stop it or slow it down, just hold tight and hang on for the ride." Minhyuk slowed his steps, and Hyungwon slowed down with them. Almost everyone else had already gone ahead. "I just wanted to tell you since you're the only one who didn't know. Well, Wonho, I'm sure he knew at some point, maybe not now, but earlier." He paused, looking left, then up, then right, then down. "I'm just-"
"You don't have to tell me," Hyungwon said quickly, even though his heart burned slightly. It ached for friendship in a place that hadn't rewarded him with any. He'd found it just as difficult to get close with someone as it was to keep them away, and while his thoughts contradicted each other, he couldn't decide which side to choose. He didn't have to strength to completely isolate himself, but getting closer to the others only meant he'd get hurt in the long run.
Minhyuk's laugh, a sound that had been missing for several days, echoed off the walls, and Hyungwon realized that it had been days since anyone had laughed. "No, I'm just trying to apologize for being so bitchy to you lately. The hormones took the wheel for a bit there, and they don't exactly play nicely with others." He grinned at Hyungwon. "I know this place can be sort of miserable, and I know we're awful company, but I hope you can find whatever it is you're looking for here." Minhyuk paused, looking down at his feet, which had come to a full halt. "For me..." he began, and his words took on the heavy tone of guilt. "It's kind of nice to just worry about myself. When I was living with my mom..." He licked his lips. "It was like trying to take care of my own kid. And it sounds selfish and horrible but it makes it easier, not having to take care of her and cook for her and break her cigarettes and hide our savings so she didn't spend it on crack."
Hyungwon swallowed, unsure what to do with all the information Minhyuk had just thrown at him, deep, personal information. Was he supposed to share his dark secrets, too?
But then Minhyuk looked up at Hyungwon and grinned. "Shit, that got dark. I just wanted to say, may as well have some fun while you're here, right? It's not all as bad as it seems."
Hyungwon opened his mouth.
Tell him.
Tell him about the dreams, about what you saw, about what you felt.
Tell him how your parents were humiliated by their lunatic son.
"Thanks," Hyungwon said instead, his smile somewhat crooked. He wanted to confide in someone, but so far, the only person who had experienced one of his episodes was Wonho - Jay, at the time - and Hyungwon wasn't ready for the rejection again.
"No problem," Minhyuk said as they started walking again. "They may have all these stupid rules here, but they haven't made one against having friends yet." Minhyuk laughed at his own words and stopped outside his room before looking over at Hyungwon with a softer smile on his face. "I know it's rough, Hyungwon, but you've already made it through your first week. That's the hardest one. It only gets easier from there, all right? And whatever shit you've got going on outside of this place, it's all gone right now. We're all here to get help. There's no shame in needing a little help every now and then."
Hyungwon looked down, not wanting Minhyuk to see his eyes growing slightly wet at Minhyuk's words. "You sound like Dr. Irving," he said in a rough voice, and Minhyuk snorted, mock-punching Hyungwon's shoulder.
"The difference between me and Irving is that I don't go around forcing people to get naked," Minhyuk said before his grin slid into a smirk. "People just throw their clothes off without my asking."
Hyungwon's face burned, not used to crude jokes, and Minhyuk's laughter followed him out of the hallway and into his shared room with Kihyun and Wonho.
After he'd given himself a minute to let his face return to normal, he decided that it wasn't a bad sound, not a bad sound at all.
