"Hey," Wonho said. He didn't really know how else to start the session. He knew that Hyungwon was probably still feeling hurt and betrayed, and that was why he hadn't come for the last visitation. He'd wanted to give Hyungwon a little time to get over all of that and regain his independence.
But now Hyungwon was sitting across from him, looking quiet and anxious to leave.
"Jooheon left and you were excited when he came back to see you," Wonho blurted out, not knowing what else to say, but he knew the instant the words left his lips that it had been wrong of him.
Hyungwon's eyes hardened, and his grip on the phone tightened as he controlled his breathing with a deep inhalation. "Jooheon told us he was leaving. His dad died. He needed to go. You just-" Hyungwon's face contorted as he tried to pick a single emotion to express, but his expression kept shifting, as there were simply too many to choose from. "I left the room for half an hour, and when I got back, you were gone. There wasn't even a note." Hyungwon looked down, and Wonho felt the guilt driving toward him in waves.
"I didn't know how to tell you, Hyungwon. My mom wanted me out of the program, and I delayed it as long as I could, but...I didn't want to tell you ahead of time. I was worried that it would ruin our time together, or that you'd dislike me for leaving. Or what would have happened if I'd told you and then I didn't leave? You'd still feel betrayed in a way."
"But you didn't tell me," Hyungwon repeated softly.
Wonho closed his eyes, exhaling before opening them. "I didn't tell you. I didn't say goodbye. And I should have. I'm sorry, Hyungwon. But...I'm here now. I wanted to see you. Can't we just let things go back to how they used to be?"
Hyungwon stared at Wonho for a long moment as though formulating a response before he reached out and tapped his index finger against the glass. "You're on the wrong side, Wonho."
Wonho swallowed, trying not to frown, because he only got to spend thirty minutes every two weeks with Hyungwon, and he didn't want to waste it by having Hyungwon remember him as unhappy. "I know it's not the same, but I'm still your friend, Hyungwon." He paused. "Please."
Hyungwon frowned before crossing his legs and twisting in the chair. "What do you want to know?"
Wonho sighed in relief. "How you're doing. If you're feeling well. All of that."
Hyungwon looked down and spoke aloud in a dry tone as though reciting a script. "I'm feeling a little down but that's to be expected since I only have Changkyun for company. I'm feeling healthy enough. I could use more sleep."
"How are you really?" Wonho interrupted, his eyebrows creasing, and Hyungwon stared at him for a long moment before biting his bottom lip.
"Wonho, do you believe me?"
Wonho pulled back slightly, surprised by the sudden question. "About what?"
"Do you believe me?" Hyungwon repeated, his eyes illuminated by a strange burn that hadn't been there before.
Wonho thought over his words. Did he believe Hyungwon? Did that mean in general? About everything?
Wonho wasn't really sure, but he knew that saying no would get him nowhere. "Of course I do, Hyungwon. What's wrong?"
Hyungwon's eyes shifted back and forth. "They have cameras in here," he whispered, and Wonho stared at him, confused.
"Hyungwon, what's going on?"
Hyungwon worried at his lip, sending frequent concerned glances toward the camera before meeting Wonho's eyes. "Do you believe me, Wonho?"
Wonho almost sighed in exasperation, but he held back because he knew that his poor friend wasn't quite right in the mind. He needed to be careful with him. Treat him delicately. "Yes, Hyungwon, I do," he said, but he felt something twist in his gut when he saw the intensity with which Hyungwon was eyeing him. Like his response mattered.
Wonho wasn't lying, was he?
Hyungwon leaned closer to the glass and cupped his hand around the end of the phone to muffle his voice. "It's about Kihyun," he whispered, and Wonho sighed, unable to restrain himself any longer.
He'd thought that Hyungwon had been about to tell him something big, something important, something personal. About his family, maybe, or...Wonho wasn't sure, but...he was sick and tired of hearing about Kihyun. "Again, Hyungwon? You have to get over him. I don't even remember him but he isn't worth this...obsession....of yours."
"He's dead," Hyungwon whispered, his eyes beginning to cloud with doubt and fear, but Wonho was past processing.
Wonho just shook his head before putting on a strained smile. "Maybe you should talk to Dr. Irving about getting your medication adjusted, okay?"
Hyungwon's glass clenched, and the fragility in his eyes disappeared. "You said- you said you believe me," he accused, sounding both angry and broken, a strange combination that Wonho wished he could unhear.
"But you're sick, Hyungwon. Can't you see that?" Wonho tried, but Hyungwon was shaking in his seat, his face set in a dark grimace.
"You lied," Hyungwon said, standing up out of his chair, and Wonho opened his mouth to speak, but Hyungwon didn't let him. "You told me- you said- it doesn't matter. It wasn't true. You didn't tell the truth. You don't believe me. No one believes me." He looked on the verge of tears, but his voice came out sharp and full of rage. His free hand was pulling at his hair, trying to rip it out of his scalp in his extreme frustration. "Don't do this. Don't try and talk to me. I don't want to see you."
"Hyungwon-"
"And don't tell anyone what I told you. Not that you believe it anyway. Because you don't believe me."
Wonho sank into his chair. "Hyungwon, you know that if I have reason to be concerned about your mental state, then I am obligated to report it to-"
"If you report me, then I'll end up dead too," Hyungwon said. Then he hung up the phone and left the room.
Wonho stared after him with an open mouth. After a moment, he hung up the phone and stood.
Look out for Hyungwon's mental state and tell Dr. Irving?
Or listen to Hyungwon's words and keep quiet?
