Aubrey Is Missing and No One Understands

3. WARM SMILE FACTORY

        "Mom, hi, hi, hey." I immediately pull out my fakest smile from the fake smile factory. "I was just about t—"

        But in a flash of a second, she wraps her arms tightly around me. And before we know it, my dad barges in and joins the group huddle, and we became a giant pile of wholesomeness. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see my little brother, Elvis, in the doorway, holding my cats, Mimi and Dottie. I can see that he's contemplating whether he should join the squish squash grip of death my parents are killing me with. I give him my most no-get-away-from-here face before he even has the chance to move a step into the room, so he nopes away. Call that insensitive, but I am effectively dying of total awkwardness and uncomfortableness from the already-20-second hug. The average hug duration is three seconds, by the way. Please don't ask me why I know that.

        "You don't know how proud we are of you, honey." My mom finally breaks the prolonged silence, successfully shooing away all the invisible awkward turtles strolling around the room. "We should've told you that sooner. We've been proud of you since the day you were born."

        "Thanks. A lot. I-it means a lot to hear that from you guys," I stutter. Aw... I can feel myself blushing. That's cute.

        "I'm sorry I'm not always the type of mom you want," she says while squeezing my hands. "Sorry I didn't let you get help for so long. I can't imagine how much you must've suffered."

        "It's okay, Mom. Really, we're past that," I say while trying to brush away her sorrys with my hands.

        "I know I can be very judgmental towards you sometimes." She grabs back my sweaty palms and squeezes them harder than before. "And I shouldn't have been. I know that now."

        "Mom!" I abruptly pull my clammy hands away from her tight clutch. "It's fine. Seriously, just forget it. It's alright, I forgive you, God forgives you, Gandhi forgives you, OK?"

        I unconsciously pull my fingers into a fist, preparing myself in case my mom strikes again. But she doesn't, so I carefully lower down my guard. Wait, no! I wasn't going to punch her. I was just... gathering up courage? I'M NOT A BAD DAUGHTER, I PROMISE!

        "So, how are you feeling?" My dad lightly taps my shoulder. "Big day."

        "Feels weird, honestly," I say while letting out a small chuckle. "All my life, I've been waiting to get out of the nest. Now that I'm here, I don't really want to leave."

        "It's OK, honey." My mom tucks a stray chunk of hair behind my ear. "New York's a great place. I bet you'll love it there."

        "Yeah, I bet." I plump myself on my gray swivel chair. "But, it's just the whole process of moving. It's really exhausting."

        "Of course." My dad rotates his head around, studying the room. "This room contains 18 years of life, and you're leaving all this."

        "I know I'm gonna miss this chair." I give the chair a little twirl around.

        "You done packing?" My dad points to the infinite line of suitcases I'm bringing to New York with me. "Better go through them all again, don't wanna forget that charger or those meds."

        "Hey you might even find your chemistry diploma already inside," my mom chirps in the most :D tone ever. "Because you're so smart and all that, aren't ya, scholarship student?"

        "Hahaha, Mom. Very funny," I reply with the most :D tone back, hoping that would satisfy them out of my room. "I'll be sure to show it to you when I find it."

        "OOoOohHhh! What's that?" My mom points at the Singapore Merlion snow globe sitting on my desk. "Where did you get that?"

        I lift the snow globe close up to my face to inspect it, but quickly realizing that there is no point in observing it closely anymore because I already know every single detail about it and have, basically, a 3D photographic image of it implanted in my head after staring at it for eight straight years whenever studying mitosis, meiosis, and the speed of an apple dropped from the sun gets too mundane for my liking. That was a long sentence. I place it back, shaking it in the process. "Elle gave it to me, before she moved to Amsterdam." I look back at the crystal ball, following the swirling pieces of whale-suffocating plastic slowly succumbing to gravity in deathly greasy water. Singapore doesn't even snow.

        "What about that doll over there?" My dad points at my Chimchar plushy.

        "Jeremy gave it to me, from Japan." At this point, I figure they're just getting me to talk.

        My mom scans my room, looking for something to ask about. "What about—"

        "Guys!" I spring up from my seat. "Sorry, but can you... can you two just leave me alone? For one second, please. I need time to prepare for all this."

        My mom smiles at me, before taking in a deep breath through the nose. "We'll leave to the airport at 2 pm." I can see sparkling bits of sadness surfacing. 

        I can't help but stare into her eyes. They're sorrow in a way that I can't quite describe, dragged slightly downwards with melancholy and pain, and... empty. She has always appeared so tough and strong to me, that never in a million years did I think I'd see her cry. I've never seen her shed a single tear before. 

        Maybe I should take this more seriously. I'm not going to see her again for months, maybe even years. She has done all the things a mother should do with all her best and might, and what have I given her the past 18 years? Annoyed scowls and shudders of repulsion at her sappy declarations of love for me, the daughter in this situation? What is wrong with me?

        "I love you," I blurt out of impulse. "J-just realized I've never really said that aloud to you two. I don't know why saying 'I love you' just feels so terribly awkward. But, thank you so so much for everything."

        It looks like I've caught them both off guard. Because they're staring at me as if they can see right through me. But there's nothing on the other end.

        "I'm sorry I talk back. I'm sorry I fight you. I'm sorry I always think I'm right, as if I know everything and I'm like this kid prodigy. Sorry you're always the criminals. And I'm sorry for so so so many more things that I can't even remember, because they're all pointless, and dumb, and selfish." My voice starts to tremble. "Maybe I can't... fully understand your mindset and your way of thinking, because we're not the same, and I need to realize that. We're on different levels. You're like infinity levels above me, and it's unfair for me to think that you would understand all my stupid and childish rants and this and thats. And you two... you two are just absolutely the best parents in this whole wide world and I admire you so much."

        They look like they want to pitch something in, but I'm not letting them. I need to finish this while I have the chance.

        "I've never even thanked you for raising me, feeding me, giving me education, buying me things I like." I can feel myself entering the first stage of snotty uncontrollable sobbing.  "While I've been complaining about money and life, I've forgotten the most important thing that I should really be worrying about—how much time I'm spending with you guys."

        The lights in her eyes rekindle, and she lets out the warmest smile, straight from the warm smile factory. And I can't help but pick my own warmest smile from the warm smile factory too, as I gave my parents the warmest hug from the warm hug factory.

        Fake smile factory is out of business, folks.