I Should Have Kissed You

Chapter 18 - You have my Heart, Always

Melanie’s POV.

At this moment, my mind was blank. I couldn’t think of anything to make him feel better.  I broke the one person who helped me when I was at my worst.  I should have just stayed home. Why did I go out? Do I have feelings for Niall?

“Honey, please believe me, I never meant for this to happen. “ I say hoping I sound at least a little sympathetic.

The truth is I don’t know what I’m feeling at this moment. I was feeling guilty and hurt and painful and numb.  I feel like I’ve let everyone done.

Liam storms away.

“Hey, what’s got his panties in a ruffle?” Sarina asks walking into the room to see me, her best friend, crying her eyes out. “Oh my god! Melanie are you okay?”

Sarina runs over and gives me a giant hug, which instantly makes me cry harder.

“I’m a horrible person, that’s what’s wrong.” I say in between crys.

She looks over towards Niall who is staring out the window.

“Wait, did you? You didn’t. Oh baby.” She says still holding me.

“Liam hates me. I took advantage of Niall. I will never forgive myself for what I have done.” I’ve calmed down.

Harry walks over to Niall and takes him outside to where Liam, Louis and Zayn are. You can hear the quite yelling mixed with a small cry. My heart drops into my stomach as well as I do to the floor. I just lay there crying. Trying to hold my breath to steady my breathing but it doesn’t work. I’m screaming and crying and Sarina is just holding me.  I’m having the flashing image of my brother. He would be so disappointed in me.

“Melanie, can you hear me? Darling please wake up.” I faintly hear Jane saying to me.

Somehow I got into my bed. I think I might have passed out.

“Where am I?” I ask looking around not recognizing anything in this room.

“Liam asked us to take you to my house for a while. I know this is upsetting. But the boys are going back to the studio and they are going back to work. He says he will stop by later today to talk with you. Do you want me to cancel?”

“No please don’t cancel. I need to talk with him. I need him to know how sorry I am. And Niall and the boys, do they hate me as well?” I ask almost positive I know the answer.

“Actually, the boys aren’t mad at all. They understood that you were drunk and going through a lot and that it was an accident.” Sarina answers.

I can’t help but believe she is lying. I can’t help but think that I wanted to do this. I have a tendency of messing things up. I slowly fall back asleep.

“Wakey Wakey eggs and Bakey.” Louis says walking into my room.

He looks so happy. He looks around the room which still has all the One Direction posters up.

“Did your room ever look like this?” He asks me giving me smirk.

“So tell me the truth, and I know you will, but is Liam coming here to dump me? Are we done?” I say starting to tear.

“I’m sorry love but you will have to ask him yourself. Bro code.” He says as he moves over and lets Liam in the room.

“Well this is my time to leave.” Louis says walking out of the room.

I look into Liam’s eyes. I see no anger, no hate, just pain.

“Liam,” I say

“No, please let me talk. Melanie from the moment I saw you singing I knew there was something about you that I loved,” I start to cry, “ I knew I was going to fall madly in love with you, because I could tell how passionate you are and how much love you have in your heart. But someone with so much love also has pain and hurt and sometimes they do stupid things, such as screwing my best mate, but I still love you. And I wish I knew if you felt the same. I’m just not sure now.” He says with his face looking like a lost puppy.

“Liam, I’m not going to use my problems as an excuse for what I’ve done. I acted like a shit person and it will hurt me forever.  I’m also not going to blame it on the alcohol. All of this is my fault. And I understand if you want you want me to move out, or go back to Buffalo. But I want you to know that you, my dear, are my one love. You are the one I love. You are the one and the only one who has my heart.  I think I should probably go home. I’ve changed and I need to go. I’m so sorry. Please just remember that I love you. And I want you to find a girl who won’t make you cry, unless its tears of joy.” I can barely get these words out of my mouth. “Just please, don’t forget about me, because I will never forget about you.”

Liam’s POV

Is this really happening? I came in here to tell her that I forgave her, and now she’s leaving?

“I understand. I hope you have a nice flight back.” Is all I can say.

She mumbles out the words I Love You, but I just walk out the room. I can hear her crys getting louder but I can’t turn back. It hurts too much.  I finally reach the living room where everyone is sitting, Sarina runs into Melanie’s room almost as though in slow motion.

“I’m ready to leave, if any of you guys want to say goodbye before she leaves for Buffalo, I’d go do that now, it’s getting late and we have work in the morning.” My voice is monotone.

I feel so tired and all I want to do is sleep.  The boys pile into Melanie’s room and give her a hug, tell her they love her and say goodbye. They are probably thinking I told her to leave.  But no, it was all her. If this was up to me I’d be able to tell her that I want her to stay, but I can’t. She wants to leave.

“You ready to leave mate?” Zayn says looking into my eyes.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” And with that, we leave. And by tomorrow morning she will be gone and I’ll most likely never see her again.

“So if you don’t mind me asking, what happened in there and why is she leaving?” Harry asks sadly, knowing his wife would most likely leave also.

“I told her I loved her, and she told me she wanted to leave.  She kept telling me that I have her heart, but I think she has mine, but it isn’t worth anything since it’s broken into a million pieces.”

“Liam, she told us to give you this,” Louis says holding up a picture of me and Melanie cut out into a heart. “I think she meant you have this heart. But I might be wrong.” He says handing me the heart.

“You have got to be kidding me. She can’t just rip my heart out and throw in on the floor and then give me this. It isn’t fare. I love her.” I say trying not to fully cry.

“I’m really sorry man, maybe you guys will meet later in life.” Niall says. I’m not mad at him. I couldn’t be. I can’t be mad at anyone.

“You know what. This is for the best, it gives me time to work more on the tour and the band and the music. Do we by any chance have a concert in Buffalo this time?” I ask with a smile.

“haha no man, but we have one in Toronto. Do you think she would come to it?” Louis asks

“Lets hope.” Harry adds