The Gays Of Altea // Klance dance au

Chapter 20

I remember this feeling.
The feeling of emptiness. The feeling that no matter how hard I try, I can't shake it.

The last time I felt it my whole world came crashing down around me. This was the first time I was ever put into a foster home.
I was put into a foster home and I never talked to a single soul. I was digged as a quiet kid but I was also quite aggressive.
That's why I never talked, I didn't want people to annoy me. If I didn't talk to them, they wouldn't talk to me, right?
Unfortunately for me I ended up being bullied for it and I got into a lot of fights at school, either I was protecting myself or other kids.
After a while the kids that had been starting fights with me and other kids stopped after it was leaked that I was a foster kid.
They pitied me and started to be friends with me or at least tried to.
But again, I stayed quiet.
I would say that I was mute for all of middle school and highschool up until I moved.
I knew Jason from middle school into highschool and it took my about 4 months to actually realise that he wanted to be my friend and not pity me. After that I started to talk to him and he was my proper friend.

I think I trusted him with too much and after that he used everything I told him against me. One of the first fights we had it was him saying that my parents were disappointed in me because I was gay and he was quite manipulating.
I almost got suspended after that.
And I feel like an idiot for trusting Lance so easily, but something about him tells me that he's different.
God I hope I'm right.

When I got home, Shiro left for work as did Rob and Melody. So I had the whole house to myself, I kicked my shoes off and put them away. I ran upstairs and grabbed a blanket and sat on the chair that was hanging from my ceiling.
I didn't know whether I wanted to cry or scream, everything hurt but I felt numb.
I knew what I wanted to do.
But I couldn't.
I mean I could.
Keith no!

I looked at my wrists outlining my veins and the scars that lay above them.
I got up and walked towards the bathroom where my razors were, I shut the door, locking it. I sat on the toilet and held the razor above my wrist, shaking slightly ''Opening some of them won't do anything.''
I pushed the razor to my wrist blood trickled onto the tiles of the floor, I still felt nothing.
So I did it again.
And again.
And again.
Still nothing.

After about 60 cuts over my arm, it was full so I moved to the next arm.
Everything still felt numb.
I cut again.
And again.
And again.
When will I feel something?

I heard the keys jingle in the door and I panicked, dropping the razor.
I got up and wiped the tiles and threw the razor in the bin, I heard the footsteps come closer and closer to the door.
''Keith?'' Shiro asked.
''Yeah.'' I said, my breath shaking.
''Can you hurry up please? I really need to pee.'' He asked.
''Yeah just give me a minute.''

I looked in the mirror, you couldn't see my cuts that much if I had my arms in different angles. I unlocked the door and smiled, holding a fresh razor in my fist. I strolled back into my room and shut the door, locking it. I looked down at my arms, my heart started beating and my stomach felt heavy with guilt and regret.
''Cutting yourself over someone, what a sob story. Pathetic.'' I muttered.
I got up, tears falling down my face and opened the door, Shiro was walking out of the bathroom as he saw me.
''Keith are you okay?'' He asked.
I shook my head no.
''What happened?'' I showed him my arms and my hands.
He mouth dropped ''Keith, oh my God, Keith. Why did you this to yourself?''
''To feel something.'' I sobbed ''Everything hurts but I still feel so numb.''
Shiro sighed ''We need to take you to the hospital.''
I panicked ''No! If we go to the hospital Melody and Rob will find out, and they'll get my social worker.''
''What?''
''And my social worker will take me away and I don't want that to happen.'' I cried ''Please whatever you do, don't tell Melody and Rob.''
My visit was slightly blurred and I felt a little light headed, shit I'm going to faint.
''I need to go sit down.'' I said stumbling back to my room.
Shiro followed me and made sure that I didn't fall over, ''I'm going to get a first aid kit.''
He ran downstairs and a minute or two later he came back upstairs, he sat down in front of me and grabbed my blood covered arm. He brought out some alcohol wipes and wiped down gently, I whinced slightly.
''Just hold on, it'll be okay soon.'' Shiro smiled.
I nodded and looked down ''Sorry for making you do this.'' I muttered.
''It's okay.'' He said ''It's just want to know why you did this.''
''It's pathetic.''
''Keith! Tell me or I'm telling Rob and Melody.'' He threatened.
''Fine.'' I huffed ''Just don't judge me. Lance and I broke up.''
''What why?''
''His dad isn't very accepting of the whole bi thing and he saw Lance kiss me the other night before he got out of my car. And he said that if Lance doesn't break up with me, he's going to kick him out again.'' I explained ''Lance said he still liked me and everything, but I'm scared Shiro.''
Shiro nodded and wiped my tears ''It'll be okay.'' He said ''There's nothing for you too be afraid of.''
''There is.'' I sighed ''I'm scared that Lance is going to get hurt. His dad is abusive.''
Shiro started bandaging me up and then went to my left arm.
''You remember what happened last time, he was out of that house for a year and half!'' I yelled ''He's got rules. He's not allowed to go near his family because his dad is afraid that he'll rape them and make them like him.''
More tears fell down my face and Shiro sighed ''Yeah, I do remember that.''
''I feel so pathetic.'' I cried ''I cut myself because a boy who said that he likes me has broken up with me.''
Shiro hugged me ''Keith, you aren't pathetic.'' He said ''You can't help but feel like this.''
I nodded into his shoulder.
''You just need to wait it out for a bit, you and Lance are made for each other.'' He smiled ''You just have to be patient.''
I nodded once again before pulling away from the hug ''Thanks Shiro.''

And that's what I did.
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Hi guys.
Sorry this is quite a late chapter, but it's going to start getting a little better soon, I promise.
Exams are almost over and I have three weeks left of hell *cough* I mean school.
So updates will might get a little better, till then.
Bai my darlings

Love you all
G.A
Xxx