You Are Loved ◦ JungHope

Part 3

Hoseok's eyes grew wide as he shook his head, moving towards the couch where his boyfriend was now standing. "No- no Sangchul you have it all wrong I kissed his head platonically I do that with all my-"

"And how many times have I told you to cut that shit out Hoseok?! You know that kid likes you!" The man spoke with distaste.

"He's not a kid Sangchul and we're friends you know that-"

"Well how do you think that makes me feel Hoseok?! That you go around kissing your so called friends the way you would with a lover. The way you should be with me." The man bared his teeth. "And don't bring this back on me as if I'm the one who did wrong here! You're acting like a slut Jung Hoseok And I just care enough to fix you!"

"I...I didn't mean..." Hoseok felt himself growing small under the mans heated gaze.

"You didn't mean what?! You didn't mean to lie to me about coming home? You didn't mean to make me wait for you with dinner already served? You didn't mean to make me worry about you when you weren't there this morning?! What I saw out the window just now was just the icing on the cake." Sangchul huffed, crossing his arms.

Hoseok tried reaching out with his hand "I'm sorry...I didn't mean-" A loud smack echoed through the apartments walls as Hoseok drew back his hand as if burned. His wrist throbbing.

"You deserve a lot more than that after what you did today. But because I love you and I actually care about this relationship I'm not going to give up on you no matter how hard you're making this for me." Sangchul harshly pushed Hoseok down on the couch. "I shared the dinner I made us with a friend by the way. Thanks for asking."

"Sangchul please..." Hoseok was curling into himself, feeling like his voice was being drowned by murky waters.

"Sleep on the couch tonight. Maybe tomorrow I'll be hard and you can prep yourself to make it up to me. But I just can't see your face right now." He turned towards the bedroom.

Hoseok called out once more. "Sangchul wait-" But his voice was buried by the sound of the door slamming shut. Yet again, Hoseok had ruined everything. The boy felt his breath quicken and his hands shake even more now in the silence of the room. Laying down, he focused on nothing but evening his breathes, knowing all to well that if he'd let the guilt overcome his thoughts, the tremors would evolve into manic. That was the last thing he needed right now. So he focused on breathing, he focused on the good things. On the fact that he had a place to call home, that he had a loving boyfriend who cared even when he'd mess up, that he had a job, good friends.

Unknowingly, his thoughts were consumed by stars.

Hoseok took a deep breath, imagining the stars in the sky that he shared with Jungkook. He curled into himself, the throbbing pain in his wrist washed into the sea by a wave of Jungkook's smile.

In the morning, Hoseok woke up to the sun hitting his face from the window, and a blanket he didn't remember having draped over his shoulders. With a yawn and a stretch of his limbs, he was quickly reminded of the pain in his wrist. "Shit." Hoseok rolled it lightly in front of him, "Probably...sprained? A bit? Not too bad." He mumbled as he moved to get up, thanking the universe that there was no bruising.

Walking into the kitchen, he found Sangchul already there, leaning against the counter, nursing a cup of coffee with a warm cup waiting next to him. Hoseok thanked him quietly, leaning against the counter beside Sangchul. A distance that Hoseok felt safe with between them. "I'm sorry for yesterday Sangchul. I haven't been the best...or even a good boyfriend lately. Just tell me what I need to do, and I'll do it. I promise, I care about you just as much. I want this to work out and I'd do anything to make what we have work."

Sangchul turned to meet Hoseok's eyes. There was a quiet moment, one where Hoseok thought that maybe yesterday had been a dream, that he hadn't messed up so severely again. But then Sangchul was talking.

"Quit your job."

Hoseok almost choked on his coffee. "Excuse me?"

Sangchul took a sip of his own drink. "Quit. It feels like all these issues are arising because of that damn diner. Besides, I make more than enough to cover for you."

"But...I love my job. I like being financially independent...what would I do instead?" Hoseok felt lost.

His boyfriend shrugged. "Clean the apartment? Have dinner ready when I came home, take care of shit around here."

"You want me to be a housewife." Hoseok deadpanned.

"I wouldn't mind it. But let me remind you of who got us into this mess in the first place."

Hoseok looked down towards his mug in shame. "You're right, sorry."

"So quit."

There was a pregnant pause before Hoseok asked softly. "And if I don't want to?"

"It doesn't matter what you want Hoseok. This is your life we're talking about here. Are you going to throw away the prospect of having a family, which I know you want, right?"

"What? I mean...yes but-"

"And what other man is going to fall in love with you enough to want kids with you? It's hard enough as it is. But I'm willing to do that for you. But you want a little job to come in-between that? To break that?" Sangchuls eyes filled with betrayal.

Hoseok looked up in shock. "You're saying you'd break up with me if I didn't quit...?"

"You would leave me no choice, Hoseok." Sangchul spoke with a voice that Hoseok had fallen in love with years ago, but now it was a voice that only carried fear into his veins.

Hoseok took a deep, trembling breath. It was true, he wanted a family more than anything. And it was also true that he was a difficult man to love. He wasn't young anymore, it would take years to get to where Sangchul and him were at now with a complete stranger. And the clock was ticking, he knew. He knew.

And Sangchul loves him, right? Hoseok should be ready to give up anything to be with somebody who loves him. Right?

"Okay." Hoseok nodded softly, drinking the last bit of lukewarm coffee before turning towards Sangchul. "I'll quit."

Sangchul smiled, but Hoseok struggled to find the warmth behind it.