(Izuku perspective)
He laid on his bed staring at the ceiling. He had done all his homework, cleaned his room, warmed up some ramen, and though he had finally ran out of energy, he couldn't sleep. He looked over at his clock and sighed. It was about 11:30. He hadn't texted Todoroki since he dropped him off at his dorm. He decided it wouldn't hurt to try and text him.
sho❤️
hey
hi,can't sleep
yeah, i have way too much energy
surprising, but me too. i went to go work out and guess who i saw
who?
kirishima was there and we talked a bit
about what?
well, we talked mainly about the whole situation, i guess,? and he tried to apologize for bakugo, but i told him i need it from the source
that makes sense, i understand that
yeah, but i still want to help bakugo
that's nice of you
it's just the kind thing
that's true
did you happen to text iida a while ago?
yeah, i wanted to ask for his help on something, how did you know?
i did too, when i asked him he asked if we were ok because you must have texted him only a little earlier
what did you need help with?
i just needed to clear my head, and i thought he could help
i actually asked the same thing
guess we need some help then
you can say that again
Izuku put down his phone and stretched out on his bed. He knew he wasn't going to much sleep anyway, so he got up to make some coffee. He always put a lot of sugar in his, so sleep was out of the picture at this point. He went to go pick up his coffee, and was surprised when he spilled it. His hands were shaking again. As he cleaned it up, he noticed the goosebumps on his arms.
' Ever since when I found Sho, I've been so shaky and nervous. I can't focus on anything in classes, and I get weird dreams that keep me up. Occasionally I'll even have flashbacks to when it happened. I should ask someone for help, but I don't wanna bother Iida more..' Izuku thought, tossing away the towels and pouring a new cup. He took a shaky breath as he took a sip.
' Maybe I could talk to Uraraka, if she's up..'
Izuku picked up his phone and opened Uraraka's contact.
!Uraraka!
hey
Hey Deku! What's up?
nothing much
You seem sad, what's wrong?
eh, it's nothing, im just tired, surprised your up actually
Yeah, I'm pretty tired too, but I just can't seem to sleep!
same here
Are you sure you're alright?
well...
Yeah?
idk, im just nervous all the
time now, almost like ptsd
or something, i don't
really know
About what? Do you know why?
well, you know how Kacchan was
expelled, well it's because he
attacked Sho and I, And well, the other night, something else happened that I can't really tell you about, that added
on to the worrying, and i just really jittery and my anxiety is on high alert all of a sudden, it's weird, i know
Hm, well, I'm no expert, but anytime you get all nervous or whatever, just take a few deep breaths and take yourself to a better place, and realize that there's nothing in the present to be afraid of in that moment! That should help, but I'm no expert.
thanks uraraka
Of course Deku! If you ever need help with anything else, I'm here!
thanks you so much
😊
can i come over in a few days?
Sure Deku! We haven't hung out outside of school in so long!
i know, and i miss hanging out with you
Me too! See you then!
see you
Izuku finished his last sip of coffee and set down the mug. He was shaking less and felt better knowing that he could talk to Uraraka soon. He sighed as he turned of his phone and placed it down. ---------------------------------------------He got up to use the bathroom, and looked over at the spare razor blades next to his sink. It was almost an instinct. He picked one up and ran it down his arm.
'Just this once...'
He almost instantly dropped it on the floor and clutched his arm as blood dripped from his forearm, to his hand, to the floor. He tried to ignore the pain as he wiped up the blood on the floor and on his hand. He wrapped a bandage around his arm as he walked out. He sat down his bed and heard a knock at his door. He chocked back tears as he opened it.
It was Todoroki.
"O-oh, h-hey Sho." Izuku yawned.
Todoroki fell into Izuku's chest and wrapped him in a hug.
"What's up? Can't sleep still?"
Izuku felt Todoroki nod into his shoulder.
"Me too."
They laid down on Izuku's bed and talked for a bit, everything was going smoothly until: "What's that on your arm?" Todoroki asked poking Izuku's bandages.
"Oh that? It's nothing!"
Todoroki stared at Izuku with s face that could tell that he was lying.
"Izu, what's that on your arm." He said, more serious now.
"I told you, it's nothing..." Izuku looked down at his mattress. Izuku felt Todoroki take his arm and start peeling off the bandages.
"Ow! Hey, that's hurts!" Izuku tried to pull away, but Todoroki just held on tighter.
"Sorry, but if you won't tell me, then I'll find out myself." Todoroki finished peeling off the last one, and looked into Izuku's eyes.
"Izuku. Did you cut yourself?"
Izuku looked away and felt horribly ashamed.
"I-I-I-...." Izuku stuttered.
"Izuku, Please."
"Yes! I did okay! I did! It was only this once, it's not that big a deal..."
Todoroki grabbed Izuku and spun him around to face him.
"Yes Izuku, it is a big deal. It may only seem like a one time thing, but you won't stop. You'll find it impossible to stop. And it will hurt you, mentally and physically. So please, stop while you're ahead. For me, for you, for everyone. Imagine what would happen if we lost you? What the hell would I do without you? Listen to me, please, for all of us, stop while you're ahead." Izuku saw the look in Todoroki's eyes, they weren't asking, they were pleading. Izuku processesd everything and fell into Todoroki, letting out every tear he had been holding in.
"I-I'm Sorry..." Izuku sobbed into Todoroki's shoulder.
"No, don't be sorry, just don't do it again. I can't afford to lose you..."
YOU ARE READING
Crushed(TodoDeku) (KiriBaku)
Romance-editing- Todoroki and Deku end up together, but how long will Bakugo tolerate it? (Self harm trigger warning)
