Malice

Chapter 12: Bored

The days cam,e and went with me staying with Alex. His behavior was surprising, but that was nothing compared to his house. I wasn't expecting something so clean and well put together. It was hidden behind a ton of the trees to the point where even the sun had a hard time shining through the windows. It was right outside of Welch and the further you were away from being in town, the better. Everyone knew that. He'd always been a pretty private person, so I expected nothing less. But I thought about the fact that he must have been pretty lonely considering the fact that the two story home held three bedrooms and two bathrooms. It was spotless to the extent of me thinking that he had a housekeeper. Turns out, he was never home enough to even accumulate any dirty dishes in the kitchen. He wouldn't dream of saying it, but I was almost certain that he had OCD.
The downside to being camped out there was how long he'd usually be gone and how stressed out he would be when he returned. He never conducted any of his business there and I could see why. It would have been stupid, messy, and dangerous. You don't shit where you eat and even I knew that.
He'd come in, shower, and crawl in bed next to me thinking I was asleep. I could feel his stress and frustration vanish as soon as his head would hit the pillow and his arm would wrap around my waist. When he was awake, it seemed like he didn't want to talk about it at all, so I didn't make an attempt to pry for information. He always kept quiet and I couldn't deny the fact that it bothered me. There were a few times where I questioned whether or not he was actually doing what he said he was doing. I knew that he could sense the tension and he kept a little distance whenever it was at it's strongest.
The two of us were sitting on the couch with my feet in his lap with neither of us really paying attention to what was on the screen of the TV. I was in a fairly neutral mood. I wasn't pissed off at him, but after two nights in a row of the sun beating him home, I wasn't exactly happy either. He'd been walking around on egg shells because he couldn't tell if I was upset or not. It was almost like he was a little scared, so I just rolled with it. There was no point in clarifying anything if he felt like he was in the wrong about something that would upset me.
"Do you think that I'm cheating on you?" he asked, breaking the silence. I turned my head toward him, cocking it to one side as I stared at him. Honestly, I was a little paranoid, wondering what gave me away or if he could read my mind. This was a brand new experience for me and I never brought up any of my suspicions because I didn't want to sound ridiculous and end up causing an argument. I wasn't even sure that he'd even tell the truth if I did confront him about it.
"No," I lied terribly. "Do you think that I would?" he threw right back at me. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that he was on to me. I figured that it was best to just come out with it and get it off of my chest while it was still something small. If I didn't, the regret was going to eat me alive.
"I don't know. You're gone a lot and you're pretty secretive. It's definitely a possibility in the back of my mind," I said with a shrug. I noticed him clenching his jaw when I finished giving him my response. He remained silent and looked like he was lost in thought. "Yeah, I guess that wouldn't be reassuring," he said as he dropped his head and looked down at his lap. He was beginning to look frustrated and I wished I would have just kept my mouth shut. "It's just hard being kept in the dark sometimes. It drives me crazy,"I said quickly, focusing on not stumbling over my words. "I can understand that. You're only kept in the dark for your own safety." I was starting to think that he was just using that as an excuse. "You're a lot more fragile than I am." His comment sparked the fire that was about to burn a hole in my chest.
"I'm well aware that you're involved in a lot of dangerous shit. But keeping me in the dark about it is unnecessary unless you're keeping something specific from me. This is what's driven a wedge between us for so long. Don't string me a lot all this time and think that you still have to treat me like just some random girl you're fucking that you just ran into one night," I said firmly.
I could tell that he was holding back the urge to get up and abandon our conversation that looked like it was about to turn into an argument. We both had short fuses and when we blew up, it was an absolute disaster, especially if we were blowing up on each other.
I was now sitting on the couch with my legs curled underneath me with a pretty good distance between the two of us. I should have felt good for speaking my mind and standing up for myself against him for once, but I was nervous. I sat there, picking at the skin around my thumbs while trying to not have an anxiety attack. Any minute now, he was going to jump up and tell me to grab my shit and go just to be done with me until he was in a better mood again.
"You're right. You're the glue that's held my shit together. You're probably the only reason why I haven't been on a killing spree yet," he said sounding defeated. His phone vibrated in his pocket and quickly got up from the couch. My heart dropped. He'd just said something sweet and now he was probably taking off and I wasn't going to see him for the rest of the night. I felt like I'd just wasted my breath and he'd just told me what I wanted to hear so I could change my attitude.
"Get dressed," he said over his shoulder as he continued to text. I was confused with not even the slightest clue as to why he wanted me to get up and function. I was still thinking the worst was about to happen to our relationship and for all I knew, he could have been getting ready to flip the script and throw me out on my ass. "Are you putting me out?" I asked without even thinking. I wore a smirk on my face, hoping that he'd think I was only joking. "Yeah right," he scoffed. The smile he flashed back at me made me feel a million times better. I felt bubbly enough to jump up on my toes to plant a kiss on his cheek.
"Wear something other than pajamas please," he said before I could turn on my heals and prance through the house. I looked past him while he continued to type, taking note of the little bit of sun shining through the window. It wasn't even dusk yet so there was no point in even considering that he wanted me to get ready for date night. "Don't rush. This is just a business meeting," he said nonchalantly as he dropped his phone into the pocket of his sweat pants. He strolled over to where I stood frozen in my tracks. "I don't have to tell you to make an impression," he said with a wink. Almost immediately, my mind started racing in a million different directions. Ultimately, it stopped on the thought that I actually meant something to him now. Maybe he really was trying to change. Maybe he really did love me.