I just want a hug. I wish someone would look at me and figure out that I'm not fully okay.
Why can't I feel loved without feeling needy or like a burden?Why can't I tell people my sadness without it changing how they see me?
How come I can't reach out?
Because it's a sign of weakness? Vulnerability?
Or is it because that would mean I've been lying to others about being happy? About being a ray of hope when in a sick twisted way I have no hope for myself?
I just wish people would realise I don't have it good as it seems. It's all smoke and mirrors
My parents fight.
We aren't rich.
I am not lucky.
I'm hardly smart.
I'm not what you think I am.
So stop expecting so much for the love of anything good...
I'm lost drowning in depths no one should ever be in.
I'm surviving but bottling everything up until I burst.
It's not healthy but I can't n help my habits or the way I deal with things.
Yet even with all these things you'd think someone would notice
Surprise surprise
They don't
I really need a hug
Or a get away.
You know
A drive late at night
Just to either let everything out or to just take me away from it all
But I have no clue if I'll ever get that
Written: 20/06/19
Finished: 10:45 am
Not edited
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