Video Games

Chapter Fifteen

As I leave the market and return to the hovercraft, I can’t help but think of how Dexio risked his life, sacrificed himself, for Tynoco. Dexio’s life was taken because he wanted to ensure that I was happy. Maybe he believes that I have the determination and the power to win this thing. If only I could believe his morals; I’m so close to suicide, it’s unreal.

Tynoco and Baiyou sit either side of me on the hovercraft back; we all squash up near the window and hold on to each other. “Ryota, I’m sorry that I exist,” Tynoco says, sighing as he faces me for the first time since we left for the market. “If I had died, then Dexio would still be alive. I don’t want to live anymore; I feel guilty knowing that you had to choose between the two of us.” Tears form in his eyes again; he genuinely didn’t want Dexio to die, despite barely knowing him.

“It’s okay.” That’s a lie: nothing is okay and I want to die too. Not because of Tynoco though; he couldn’t help the position he was in. They were both in the bottom four and they have to live with that. If Tynoco had any power, I know that he’d get us all out of here alive, even Tainai – who appears to be dangerously close to death. He’s escaped the last two games by a hair; I guarantee that he skips the next game too.

“Do you guys want to come back to my farm?” Baiyou asks, looking at us as if we’re his children and he’s our protective guardian. “I can cook you up some soup I’ve been making. Chicken or tomato.” Baiyou looks at us with his caring eyes; Tynoco just nods and starts down at the floor. Yesterday, he sobbed his eyes out over Kwesi’s death; today, he’d ridden with guilt and full of agony. He knows that I just lost Keltain and Dexio and it shows that he feels super guilty for winning the game. All I want to do is hug him, but I feel too distant, as if a wall is separating us from actually touching each other.

“Thanks Baiyou,” I say, smiling at him. The smile doesn’t quite reach my eyes; it’s fake and covered in guilt and hatred for this place. Dexio lingers on our minds in different ways: Baiyou and I saw him as a friend, a hometown guy; Tynoco can’t see him as anything but dead. I see him as a hero, a sacrificial boy. Dexio sees him as bait, for Dexio baited in the hunter and let his life fade away in seconds so that Tynoco could live. Maybe this plan has something to do with Ithai too considering that he was the one telling Dexio where to go and stuff. Together, Dexio and Ithai saved my life; Dexio lost his chance at winning in the process.

However, we all know that if Dexio hadn’t turned himself in, Tynoco wouldn’t have been found. Maybe it was to make sure that someone strong still had a chance. Dexio was probably hidden in a terrible spot; Tynoco’s spot was brilliant, if I say so myself. He probably wouldn’t have been found without help. Dexio, essentially, made the game end faster so that the suspense would stop and we could all continue with our lives. Not that our lives mean much anymore.

 Once we get to Baiyou’s farm, the three of us descend from the ladder and land on the farm. Well, I jump from the tenth rung from the bottom; I’m jumping from higher rungs every day. Soon, my legs will just snap and I’ll be impaired. Then, I’ll die. Death is a good thing right now. If it’s the only thing you can think of, you may as well act on it.

Speaking of death, how did Dexio, Keltain and Areli die again? Oh yeah, gunshot. We saw it on the cameras, so it seemed less real than it would’ve been if we saw it face to face with them. When I die, I think I want everyone to see it. Not so that I can scar them, but so I can say that I saw them back in my final moments. When I die, I want to see Tynoco stood there, smiling and crying and whispering to me as I close my eyes and sink into the infinite darkness of death.

Looking up at the hovercraft as it flies away, I begin to form tears in my eyes; I turn to Baiyou and Tynoco with spilling down my face. It’s impossible to get any words out; all I can do is stutter and sob. “These people are going too fast. Now only fifteen of us remain. Who’s even left?” Baiyou asks, obviously wanting to distract his mind – and mine. I think going through the names of other competitors will make me sob harder, for I’ll be remembering who is left to face their death. Nevertheless, I begin to think about who is still alive now that we’re at the halfway mark.