hyacinth - bsd reader insert

6.

"Ladies and gents, we got a new member!"

Kunikida peered from the rim of his glasses. Seemingly unperturbed, he lowered his head and resumed typing.

Yosano opened the door behind the duo, startling (Y/n). "Ah, Dazai—who is this?"

"(L/n) (Y/n)," (Y/n) bowed, hands shaking as they stood. They tugged their sweater down despite the lukewarm temperature. In the corner sat a certain detective, eyes shut in an amused smile, lollipop swirling between his mouth, unopened bag of sweet strawberry chips unceremoniously tossed over precious work papers.

"I want (L/n) to work with Ranpo-san," Dazai smiled.

"Ehhh," The mentioned person droned from his seat, crunching on the remnants of his lollipop. He stuck out his tongue, stained purple. "Why me? They look more suited for Atsushi-san."

He slid off his chair and paced towards (Y/n), prodding their cheek. (Y/n) rigidly recoiled, attempting not to whack the detective's hand. Sweat beaded on their brow as the procedure continued for about another thirty seconds.

"Ah, never mind. Dazai-san, I honestly never can figure you out." His eyes opened in a slitted smile, bottle green and luminous. They rocked (Y/n) to the core.

—Shoot. He probably knows about me, (Y/n) sweated.

"N-nice to meet you, Edogawa-san," (Y/n) timidly smiled.

The detective hummed and tilted his head. "Dazai only called me by my last name. How do you know my first?"

Crack.

(Y/n)'s knuckles cracked with the pressure.

"Honestly, Ranpo," Kunikida scowled from his computer. "Don't give them a hard time."

"Ah~, sorry, my bad," Ranpo cheerily said, sliding back to his seat and cracking open the bag of strawberry chips. "I'll be going on a case this afternoon. For now, let's go shopping."

"For what?" (Y/n) was confused at the 360 in personality.

He stared at them as if unicorns started to prance around their head. "The most important sustenance! The only fuel that I can run on in this life (besides praise, mind you). Food! Candy! Drinks! My god, are you living under a rock? Do you not know Calpis?" The confused individual shook their head.

I know Calpico, though...

"That's it. Thank you, Dazai-san! I'm going to train my protégé on the refined art of food and snacks." The detective grabbed (Y/n)'s sleeve. Dazai watched them with a bemused stare. (Y/n) locked eyes with him, death threat burning in their eyes.

"Ciao!" Dazai called as Ranpo dragged (Y/n) out of the building to buy snacks.

-

"Ranpo-san, I..."

"No, not now," the detective scowled, peering intensely at the aisle of drinks. "I think for this I will use my detective skills. Strawberry milk or banana milk?" He whipped out his glasses and placed them on the bridge of his nose, eyes opening.

A quiet breeze whooshed down the aisle and lifted his cloak, creating a dramatic effect.

(Y/n) sweatdropped.

"Ah, I get it now! The strawberry milk here has less lactose than the banana. If I were to measure the amount of fruit syrup versus actual milk percentages, I..."

"Ranpo, I'm gonna go get some chocolate," (Y/n) called, but the detective didn't seem to hear them.

They paced down the convenience store, staring at the colorful wrapping. Caramel crunch, almond butter, chocolate cream, vanilla chocolate swirl, chocolate Pocky, walnut chocolate, chocolate mushrooms, chocolate fish—huh? Chocolate ... fish? What the hell?