Addicted To Love

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Standing outside the church, fidgeting. Trying to get the courage to go inside. I'm nine days sober and I need to stay that way. I have to. If I don't I'll die. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. It would still be better than where I was. I look around and contemplate going after that next hit. I know where my dealers are. I could go to Kris' house. He'd give me a hit. If I do that, him and his friends will have their fun with me again while I'm too high to give a shit. Looking back at my car and then the church doors, I decide to walk in the doors.

Walking into the room where the NA meeting is being held, I walk in and slip into a chair in the back. Keeping my head down, I start rubbing one of my arms while chewing on the thumbnail of my hand. Looking around out of the corner of my eye, I see people standing around talking but no one notices me. The doctor that told me about this meeting said it would be good to share. Maybe listen to a few people first. I listen to some of the others share and then the mediator asks "Anyone else like to share?" before looking around. I raise my hand and she says "Come on sweetheart."

I walk up to the podium and say "My name is Shayne and I'm an addict." I say like everyone else did. "I've been sober for nine days and...um...it's not been easy. I got here tonight and contemplated going to find a hit. I...um...almost OD'd and the doctor told me this would be a good place to start I guess." I say. "Um...that's it I guess. Thanks." I say before slipping back to my seat in the back of the room, with my head still down.

After the meeting is done, I try to slip out when I hear my name. "Shayne?" I stop and turn around but don't look up. "Hey." the man says. He has blonde spiky hair, blue eyes, nice build and almost sounds concerned. "You did good up there." he tells me. "Thanks." I say. "You have a sponsor yet?" he asks. "What's that?" I ask. "It's someone from the program for you to call when you start feeling the urge. Someone that's been there and can help you past it." he tells me. "Oh. No I don't." I say. "Look, we don't know each other but I see that look. I was there three years ago." he tells me and I look up at him but still don't meet his eyes. "There's a diner across the street. Let's get some coffee and talk." he tells me and I just nod.

We walk across the street and head inside. Getting a booth, he orders us both coffee and he says "How'd you start using?" My hands are in my lap and his are on the table. "I was living with my boyfriend...ex-boyfriend and he...um...hit me one night. Him and his friends...um...held me down and shot me up and they took turns on me while I was too high to fight them off. When they didn't want me to fight, they'd shoot me up and I haven't been able to stop." I tell him. "You still living with him?" he asks. I just look down at my hands. "You gotta get out of there or it's not going to stop." he tells me. "I don't have anywhere to go. I'm staying at a motel." I tell him. "Good. At least you're out of there. Give me your phone." he says and I put it on the table. He puts his number in and says "My name's Herman but you can call me Herm. My number is in your phone so you need me, you call me. I don't care what time it is or what I'm doing. I'll be here." he tells me. "Why are you helping me?" I ask. "I've been there. I was lucky that my brothers helped me get clean. Now it's time to pay it forward. I'm your sponsor sweetheart. But I need you to call me once a day to let me know you're okay." he tells me. "Thank you." I tell him. "Tell me a little about you...but no last names." he tells me. "I'm twenty seven and from Georgia. Both parents are gone and no siblings. Moved here for a fresh start." I say, laughing sarcastically. "What about you?" I ask. "Thirty-six, mechanic, ride a Harley. Parents are gone, have one brother but we don't talk." he tells me. "How'd you get started if you don't mind me asking?" I ask. "Nah. It's good. I was seeing this chick and her brother was a dealer. We were partying one night and she wanted me to shoot up with her and I did. Loved the high and before I knew it, that high was all I could think about." he tells me. "How'd you get clean? I know you said your brothers helped." I tell him. "Yeah, one of my brothers saw me on the floor of my room and I was OD'ing. Almost died. He about beat my ass but put me through our own version of rehab and made me start coming to the meetings. Been clean three years and come to one once a week no matter what." he tells me and I nod. After talking a little more, we head outside. He walks me to my car and I say "Thank you Herm." He puts his hand on my shoulder and I tense a little. "I won't hurt you and I won't let anyone else hurt you either." he tells me and I relax a little, believing him. "You call me anytime you need me. Understand?" he asks and I nod. I get into my car and head to the hotel and he gets on his bike and heads home.