𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚? | 𝙨.𝙢𝙜 & 𝙟. 𝙮𝙝 [slow updates]

thirteen.

chapter thirteen ; the night pt. 1
*special chapter*

while the other members were sleeping, seonghwa invited hongjoong over to his room.

"i still cannot believe you actually did it," seonghwa said. he has his hands in hongjoong hair as hongjoong laid his head against seonghwa's thigh. "it fits you so well." hongjoong giggled at the compliment and sighed from the feeling of seonghwa's hands in his hair.

"hey...seonghwa," hongjoong whispered. seonghwa hummed to indicate that he was listening. "you make me..feel different." seonghwa cocked his eyebrow up showing that he was confused to what the younger was saying. "i mean, i've always been a party kind of guy, loved females, kind of was a play boy, and i felt very.. dominant. but when i'm with you, i feel very.. i can't explain it it's just..." hongjoong felt his chest tighten when he was trying to talk. he knew what that meant; he was about to cry. hongjoong sat up to look at seonghwa. they weren't far away from one another nor were they close; just the perfect amount of space. "have you ever questioned yourself...?" he finally said. he felt the lump form in his throat as he held back his tears. he hated feeling like this.

before college, hongjoong was a top student at his high school. good grades even though he barely went to school, classic music nerd, loved performing arts, and a well known student. when he was sixteen, he came across this guy who was seventeen and a grade higher than him. they both loved the same things and shared common interests a lot. the more they got closer, the more the seventeen year old grew fond of sixteen year old hongjoong and unexpectedly, hongjoong felt himself becoming fond of the seventeen year old. but far in the back of his mind he knew liking your same sex was viewed as bad, repugnant, weird, and negative. he truly loved the seventeen year old but distanced himself away because of his fear of being pushed away. of course the older boy understood but hongjoong couldn't help but feel bad. that's why hongjoong became a play boy when he got older, used females to show he was straight and not gay. wanted to make sure he wouldn't get pushed away. now he didn't feel like he questioned himself. oh but as the hours went by with being with seonghwa, it came back again. spending the weekend and a few week days with seonghwa wasn't going to do anything but strengthen that mushy feeling.

the stray tears started to fall down hongjoong face without his conscious. "oh shit, i'm sorry," he said wiping away the tears. "i have no clue what came over me... ha. just forget what i said—"

"yeah i have."

seonghwa answered hongjoong's previous question, causing the cherry haired boy to widen his eyes. "i'm guessing you're talking about questioning yourself whether you like men or not... yeah, i've been there."

hongjoong but his lip to calm himself down. his body felt cold and this tension wasn't warm to him. he was scared. what if seonghwa pushes him away...? shit what if mingi figured out too, how would he feel.

little did he know, him and mingi were just alike.

"but i accepted myself. i realized that no matter how badly the world or whomever treated me, i at least realized that i have finally accepted who i was and i couldn't be happier. i loved who i was and i got friends and thankfully family that backed me up and accepted who i was. and the person that i loved of course accepted me because we accepted one another and we loved one another. i strongly realized that its okay."

hongjoong began to shed more tears at what seonghwa said. seonghwa cupped his face, whipping away his tears. "really..?" hongjoong whispered. seonghwa nodded and hongjoong started to slowly collect himself.

he was ready to say it.

"because you make me question myself..."

seonghwa eyes widened at hongjoong's confession. shit he thought he would've confessed to him first.

seonghwa brought his lips to close to hongjoong's, only centimeters apart.

"kiss me.."

——————

sorry for the hiatus! i start college in august so i'm trying to get myself situated. also i'm working so i'm just really really busy lately but i promise you guys i will update tomorrow, this is an actual promise a strong one.

i know this is a yunho and mingi fanfic but i couldn't help but put seonghwa and hongjoong in here so hopefully this doesn't bother you guys!

again thank you for the reads, comments, and votes! 🥺
i appreciate it so so much it means a lot and you guys are the reason why i am continuing this story. i'm sorry for the slow updates :( i will do better i promise! love you all!