Diving Into The Wreck

Why Bother?

I knew that Blake had finally gone off the deep end when he bought a pair of shutter shades.

Not long after our final recording session, Blake texted me, "Hey Dani, I'm sorry about everything. Do you want to go shopping with me on Saturday?" I said yes, of course. I didn't want to let our disagreement get in the way of our friendship, so I went to the mall with Blake.

We wandered around for a while, occasionally going into a store to browse or stopping to buy a smoothie. After a few hours, Blake finally found a shop that he liked, and he took every outfit that he could find and carried it into the dressing room. "Dani, aren't you going to try something on?" he asked me.

"I think I'm okay," I said. I sat down on a bench and drank my smoothie while Blake tried on neon hoodies, zebra print pants, gold chains, and whatever else he could get his hands on. Every time he came out of the dressing room, he looked absolutely ridiculous, but I never told him that. Instead, I said, "You look great, Blake."

"Thanks," Blake replied. "I just wish that I had more money so that I could actually buy all of this. I kind of blew most of my savings getting that windshield fixed. Maybe I'll spend the EP money on clothes. We'll be rich once that thing is released, you know."

I wasn't sure if I believed him, but I nodded anyways. Blake ended up buying about half of the outfits he found in the store, and when he was in the checkout line, he spotted a rack of sunglasses. "Oh my God," Blake said as he took a pair of white shutter shades off of the rack. "Dani, I've always wanted one of these, and they're on sale! It's buy one, get one free!" Blake took another pair of shutter shades off of the rack, and when he purchased the rest of his clothes, he bought two pairs of shutter shades, one white and one light blue.

As we left the store, Blake put the white pair on and stuffed the light blue pair in his bag. "Can you even see through those?" I asked him.

"Of course," Blake said, just as he crashed into another shopper. "I'm so sorry!" he shouted to the woman. "Anyways, I can see fine. Plus, I look great right now. The girls at our shows are going to love these."

"What happened to your relationship with Madeline?"

"We were never really a thing."

"I thought that you loved her."

"I do. She's so pretty and sweet, but..."

"But what?" I asked as Blake stared off into the distance.

Blake shrugged and said, "I just don't see why I should bother."

"What are you talking about?"

"What if she breaks my heart next summer?"

I sighed and said, "Blake, I can't believe that I'm the one giving you relationship advice, but you can't give up this quickly. You have to take the time to get to know her."

"I don't know, Dani. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that love hurts."

I didn't know how to respond to that. He knew more about love than I did. Who was I to question him?

We headed down the escalator, and as I searched for someplace to eat, I spotted three girls around Sydney's age staring at Blake and I. They weren't sure what to make of us, which I'm sure was exactly what Blake was going for when he started The Love Martyrs.

Even now, that memory is still fresh in my head. After the last day of my sophomore year, I went to Blake's house, and when he opened the door, I saw that he had dyed his blond hair bright pink. "Hey Blake," I said as I entered the house. "I like your hair."