Diving Into The Wreck

Across The Sea

There are certain recordings that are actually capable of causing physical pain, and The Love Martyrs EP is a great example. Don't buy this half-baked attempt at hip-hop-flavored electro-rock unless you want your ears to bleed...

If you thought that the crunkcore trend that bands like Brokencyde and Blood On The Dance Floor started was over, think again, because for some reason that no sane person will ever understand, The Love Martyrs are trying to bring it back. The hollow glitz of the Love Martyrs EP would be a new low for pop culture if it was culturally relevant or popular. Thankfully, the EP is neither...

Upon first listen, The Love Martyrs EP is awful. The real problem with the EP is that it's still awful after a second or third listen...

The Love Martyrs' music is reprehensible, not just for trying to bring crunkcore back into the spotlight in 2014, but also for making each of the six songs on their EP more annoying, repetitive, and misogynistic than the last...

The only way to describe the Love Martyrs EP is absolutely abysmal...

Admittedly, looking up reviews of my band's EP wasn't the best idea that I'd ever had, but they weren't wrong. Maybe the critics knew something that I didn't back then, and maybe I was in too deep to notice all of the warning signs, telling me to turn around and leave The Love Martyrs.

To this day, I don't know what Blake thought of the overwhelmingly negative reviews we got. I'm not even sure that he read them. The first time I saw him after the EP was released, he told me, "You won't believe how well the EP is selling in Japan," not even mentioning the critical reception.

I doubted that the reviews were any better in Japan, but girls in Tokyo, Osaka, and Kyoto were buying the Love Martyrs EP in droves. There were Japanese girls swarming Blake's social media pages, telling him how much they loved him and his music, while we struggled even to give copies of the EP away in Cleveland. We weren't going to get rich off of the recording anytime soon, but when I got my first royalty check, my heart fluttered. It felt like The Love Martyrs were finally going somewhere.

After one too many posts on Blake's Twitter asking about a tour in Japan, Tommy asked us about scheduling a tour there over winter break. "It would be an easy way to take advantage of your popularity in the Japanese market," Tommy said.

Blake, of course, said yes immediately, but I told Tommy that I needed to ask my parents. They were initially reluctant, but I begged them to let me go, knowing that this opportunity wouldn't come again. "When else am I going to get an all-expenses paid trip to Japan?" I asked. Eventually, they gave in, but Mom insisted on coming with us.

Meanwhile, life went on. I still went to school every day, and on Mondays and Wednesdays, I stayed after school for Quiz Bowl. At lunch, I sat with Madeline, Tanner, Devon, and all of their friends. Before long, I started to feel like one of them.

One day, Madeline and I both got to Quiz Bowl early. As we set up the buzzers, Madeline asked, "Are you doing anything over winter break?"

"Blake and I are going on tour in Japan," I told her.

"That's so cool," Madeline said. "Have you been there before?"

"No," I replied.

"Japan is a cool country to visit. I went there once when I was little. My dad is Japanese-American, so he brought the whole family there to 'reconnect with our roots,' or something like that. Anyways, it was an awesome trip."

"Is there anything you'd recommend doing while we're there?"

"I remember going on this samurai tour where we got to play with actual katanas. There's a picture of me when I was eight holding a katana. The sword was bigger than I was!"