Diving Into The Wreck

Say It Ain't So

As the plane descended toward Cleveland, I kept my headphones on, listening to the same melodies that had helped me when my parents got divorced. Blake had introduced most of those songs to me, a fact that I would have rather forgotten, but he had defined so much of my adolescence. It was impossible to erase every trace of him, as much as I would have liked to do just that.

The good news was that there was no way that Blake could stalk me in Cleveland. If he was living in Florida now, then he wouldn't just hop on a plane and follow me back home. I could let that particular fear float away, as if I didn't have a million new ones now that Jason had gotten into that car crash. My mind drifted from Jason to Mom to Sydney, afraid that the situation had somehow gotten even worse during the flight, as I looked out the window to see the sparkling lights of my hometown,.

It was only after I the plane hit the runway that I realized what all of this meant. It wasn't just Jason, although I was worried about him. It was Sydney that I was really concerned about. Before Jason's car crash, I had been planning to come home and see her over winter break, but because of this emergency flight to Cleveland, all of the money that I had saved up from my job was gone. I wouldn't be able to afford to come home again until the end of the year. Not only would I see my mom and sister for only a weekend and under the worst circumstances, but I wouldn't get to see them again until the summer. It was another reason to hate Jason, as if I needed another one.

I switched my phone off of airplane mode, and I was thankful to see that nothing new had happened since Mom had called me back in Egmont Beach. I texted her to let her know that I had arrived, but it was another half hour before I could get off of the plane. Once I was in the airport, I ran to baggage claim, and I found Mom waiting for me next to the baggage carousel. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked more lost and afraid than I had ever seen her. She hugged me tightly and whispered, "Dani, I'm so glad you're here."

"It's good to be home," I said. "I missed you, Mom. I just wish that I could come here under better circumstances."

That was when Mom broke down. She started sobbing, and I didn't know what to do. Mom wasn't usually the sort of person who cried in front of me, much less in a public place like the Cleveland Hopkins International Airport. I had no idea how to react: it was like aliens had taken over my mother's body. She grabbed a tissue from her purse, wiped her eyes, and said, "I'm sorry, Dani. It's just that I hate that I can't be with Jason right now. He needs me."

I knew that I should have felt something for my hospitalized stepfather, but he had brought this upon himself. He was the one who had started drinking in the first place, and he was the one who had crashed his car. He was the one who had torn my mother to pieces, and for that, I was more angry than sad. I had no tears to cry for Jason, but I could cry for Mom, and I could cry for Sydney, who I hadn't even seen yet. I wondered how my sister was dealing with all of this.

I grabbed my suitcase from the baggage carousel, and Mom and I walked to the car. "Where's Sydney?" I asked Mom as she started driving.

"She's at home," she said. "I told her to go to bed at ten, but knowing your sister, I'm sure that she's still up. You can talk to her once we get home. I'm driving to the hospital after I drop you off, and then you and Sydney can visit Jason in the morning."

Mom and I stayed quiet for the rest of the ride, and I stared out the window. There were so many memories caught up in the places that we passed by, from one of the high schools that we had gone to for Quiz Bowl to the mall where Blake and I hung out when we were younger. We even drove by Madeline's house as we headed into my neighborhood. I wondered if Madeline was home for Thanksgiving break. Maybe she was inside, filling the house with music.