Drops of Light

I Miss You

It's 11:35pm. On a Wednesday night. A school night.
I should be asleep- but I'm not.
Why ?
Because I miss you. A lot.
And it's unfair that you don't (seem) to miss me as much as I do you.
I've only cried twice about it since you left.
It doesn't feel real most days
But at night,
The thoughts invade my dreams and I can't sleep because
I MISS YOU.
And it hurts.
Who doesn't hurt when they miss their best friend ?
For the last two months
(I checked)
I'm the one who started the conversations or video chats or phone calls.
And I knew you'd be busy with your new life
But not this busy.
I have never have once been asked anything besides
"What's new?"
And that's the problem.
Best friends are the ones who are there to witness the everyday things that aren't really special.
But you're not.
And I know that when people have long distance relationships, what you want to know is the bigs things,
Not that funny joke the guy from your maths class told.
Or what colour shoes you wore to school
And how they didn't match your outfit.
Or what type of nail polish you put on.
Or if you listened to that awful new song everyone is talking about.
These are what everyday best friends are for.
Not long d i s t a n c e
That wants to know about that boy that you liked or what kind of music you're into lately, or even what show you're currently watching.
And it's hard when someone suddenly loses interest in the things that used to be your everyday conversation.
The little things that (used) to matter.
When you don't see someone everyday it's hard to catch up on everything you're doing that they aren't involved in.
Because that's twice as many things.
I think
That when people talk on the phone it should be for real-
About all those little things that (don't) matter, but that make you a new person
Every day.
Because if something big like your first boyfriend or fist kiss or drivers license comes up,
It's something you can write about in a text.
You won't text someone
"Oh yeah today I wore blue jeans and pink underwear".
You say that on the phone.
But you can text
"I got my drivers license!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's just the way it works
In my head.
So I miss you
And I'm sorry
And I love you.
Please don't forget me.
I remember you.
You're the most important person in my life.
And it hurts that you're gone.
Call me,
Your best friend.