you're a dream ~ ariana x you

Twenty Two

The day in the cafeteria kept playing in my head as if it were a movie - and on repeat, I watched Lauren remain neutral in a storm of which her boyfriend had caused.

His words gutted me and caused a level of vulnerability to resurface that I was so sure to have locked away years ago.

Thankfully, Ariana took his criticism better than I ever could. I'm not sure how, but she was like this unstoppable force - no one could tear her down.

"How can you remain so calm after everything he said?" I ventured on with my thoughts while tying a shoe, "God" The word rolled off my tongue as if it were a default, "I hate Jason with a burning passion, a-and especially Lauren. Why couldn't she have stood up to him?"

I sigh in frustration then work my way to the other shoe, "You know, this is nothing new. She's always set her standards low for guys." My feet land on the ground as I stand up, "But not this time, because I'm going t-"

"Babe" Ariana starts, raising her eyebrows in my direction as if sending me a warning signal.

"I'm going home and calling my aunt. If there's one person Lauren's scared of its-"

Suddenly, I feel two hands land on each of my shoulders. I look up to find Ariana staring directly at me. Her eyes gaze into mine and in an instant, I lose my train of thought, "Just let it go" Her voice was soft and her state made it evident that she still didn't care, "She's made her choice"

"B-but the things he said about you. When he called y-"

"Stop" She's shakes her head in annoyance, "I told you to leave the girl alone. What happened is in the past now. I know it hurts to admit, but she chose him over you and that's the reality of it."

The muscles in my jaw instantly begin to weaken and my eyes automatically shut. Somehow, my hand finds its way onto my mouth and it rests there for a moment.

I've never been one to cry and the fact that it was in the midst of happening, nonetheless in front of Ariana frightened me. I attempted to give it my best effort and control myself. But the anger and pain I felt was all too powerful. It came rushing at me - full force, which caused a flow of tears to escape from my eyes.

Ashamed by my state, I quickly begin to wipe away my tears in hopes that she wouldn't notice and slightly afraid she would judge me.

But she obviously noticed.

I don't understand why this was affecting me so much.

Maybe the fact that my best friend, whom I had spent a majority of my childhood looking up to, watched someone I love, suffer in a time of need. She had the ability to stand up for Ariana, yet she chose not to. And when I voiced my opinion, she shut me down as if I meant nothing to her.

Whatever sick and twisted scheme Jason was up to in an attempt to drift Lauren and I apart from each other was working because it had been a week since Lauren and I last spoke to each other. And although it was hard given we lived together, we managed to distance ourselves.

We were individually interrogated by both my parents and agreed to keep everything to ourselves.

"My chest feels heavy" The words escape my mouth as I quickly wipe away the last tear from my cheek, "She's my cousin and I love her to death, b-but she's also a stone cold bitch, and I hate her."

Warmth and compassion were practically radiating off Ariana and the stare she was giving me, "I understand", she states in a low toned voice.

Ariana had made it evident she preferred that I not talk to Lauren, but I myself found no interest. I had no desire in maintaining a relationship with her and found her presence to be almost sickening.