Like To Be You ✓

thirty six

He tries again.

The next day at school, Neil waits outside Tyler's classroom, and when he appears, Neil stiffens.

Tyler's avoiding him. Again. His eyes are trained on the Pepto-Bismol pink floors, and he's making a move for the door handle when Neil pulls him away from it.

"Ty," he says, frustrated, "What's wrong with you?"

Tyler stuffs his hands in his pockets, a shiver racking through his body. His face is red with the cold, and he's only wearing a thin sweater.

"And where's your jacket?" Neil says. "You're shivering."

"Just leave me alone, Neil." Tyler mumbles.  "Please. I'm sorry for... for that night, but we can't be friends anymore."

"What the fuck?"

Tyler looks at him, alarmed. Neil mirrors his expression. Neither has ever said the word before, having been raised in households where such language was banished. But for once, Neil doesn't care. His surprise melts back into misery.

"Why would you say that, Ty?" Neil's words sound thick. He can feel the tears climbing up his throat, coiling around his vocal cords. Tyler's the only friend he's had, not because he can't make any, but because he doesn't need any.

Or so that's what he thought.

Now he'll have no one.

"Because we can't, okay? It was a mistake. It changes everything." Tyler sounds firmer now. His lips have stopped trembling, and he isn't fidgeting anymore.

"Ty," Desperation seeps into his voice and floods his face. He grabs Tyler's arm, pinching the sweater between his fingers. "Please don't do this! We're best friends! We don't let anything get between us, remember?"

Tyler pulls his hand away from Neil's fingers, his face passive.

"I'll forget the kiss, Ty. Look, I already have! Ty, no, wait. Please!"

Neil watches a blurry Tyler pull away completely, the sound of the classroom door shutting a moment later ringing in his ears. He brings his arm to his eyes, shielding the spilling tears from curious eyes, and backs away, the impalpable knife in his chest driven to its hilt.