I want to write you a song

Heart Attack

"Jesus Christ Louis! You gave us a heart attack!"
"Ummmmm how long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to know that you're in need of some love advice. About a guy I'm assuming?"
I blush and look down a hands. I try to compose myself, so it doesn't look like I just had a meltdown. But unfortunately as soon as Louis steps into my room, he realises that I've been crying.
"Harry what's wrong?!"
"I'm gonna let you guys talk." With that Liam stands up and walks towards the door. He turns around in the doorway and gives me a thumbs up behind Louis back. I glare at him and shake my head.
Louis must have noticed and spun around.
"Am I missing something?"
Liam just laughs and walks off.
"Harry please tell me what's going on."
As much as I know that Liam is right about telling Louis how I feel, I just can't do it. Not now. I promise myself that I will, but just not right now.
"Lou...can please believe me when I say I want to...but I can't."
I see the hurt in his eyes. I want to tell him why, but I'm too scared of what he might say, what it might mean for the band, what it could mean for our friendship.
"Harry...I don't want to sound...I dunno...but you've talked to Niall about why your sad, and Liam just now. And I saw Zayn go into your room after you got upset when you showed your song, so I assumed your guys talked about it too. I just don't understand why you can't tell me?"
I can't let him keep thinking it's his fault that I'm not taking to him. I look into those sad blue eyes.
"Louis, I need you to know that it's because of me that I can't tell you. It has nothing to do with me not trusting you or anything. It's my fault. Do you kind of get what I'm saying?"
"Kind of...so you don't...you don't hate me or anything?"
I look at him shocked, and also slightly amused because it was ironic that Louis thought he hated him when it was actually the opposite.
"Louis I could never hate you, no matter what you did or said to me I would always love you."
The words slipped out of my mouth before I could even register them. My heart stopped for a second as I watched Louis reaction. Fortunately, Louis didn't even notice, and even if he did, he didn't think much of it.
"Promise?" He looks at me with hopeful eyes.
"I promise." I smile.
After a pause I say "But you know, don't go around murdering people or anything, cause that might make things a bit harder."
Louis giggles and lies down on my bed. I do the same, so we're both lying in my bed facing the ceiling.
"Do you remember the Battle of the Bands?" Louis says suddenly.
"Yeah, why do you ask?"
"I just remember afterwards, I was with one of my band members and we were like you and I now. Just lying on one of our beds talking. That's what made me think of it. I remember talking about you."
"Wait really?"
"Yeah I talked about the singer of the White Eskimo, for days afterwards. I thought you were incredible. My band mates were so sick of me mentioning you." The was a pause, and it looked almost like Louis was contemplating saying something.
"Most of them thought that I liked you...you know." He said quietly.
I didn't realize I had been holding my breathe for this whole time, I let it out as a sigh.
This seemed to snap Louis out of his thought.
"Sorry Haz, you probably don't want to hear about me babbling on about stuff." He jumps off the bed and starts walking towards the door. I felt my heart sink.
"I didn't mind...I kind of liked listening to you remembering things."
Louis smiles and walked back to my bed and lays back down beside me. I couldn't help but notice how close his hand was to mine. I wish I could hold his in mine, but I knew I couldn't.
"Do you remember the day the band got together? I was so nervous, walking out onto that stage..." As he talked, I felt his hand move so that the back of his hand was touching mine.
I started drifting off to sleep thinking that I couldn't remember the last time I was this happy.