I want to write you a song

Happily

Harry

When I think about it enough, I probably have had a crush on Louis for long time now. But for most of that time, I was desperately trying to ignore it, in the hopes that the feelings would disappear. Of course they didn't, to be honest, they really only got stronger.

At first, I tried keeping all the feelings I had for Louis bottled up inside of me, in an attempt of hoping they'll go away. I didn't even know I was gay. Until Louis that was. But after a while I realised that I shouldn't hate myself for being gay. For being me. But even after I came to terms with my sexuality, I still couldn't come out to the boys yet, let alone the fans and management. But now I'm sick of hiding my true self, so I've decided to come out, starting with the boys.

We're all sprawled around the living room, chilling out together before we have to go to rehearsals. Just like any other day. But for me it wasn't any other day. I'd been silently working up the courage to tell them.
"Ya'right Harry? You're a bit quite over there." Just do it! It's now or never. "Ummmm...actually I've kind of got some news..."
I've got their attention now, Louis sat up on the couch, Zayn put his phone in his pocket and Niall and Liam immediately look up from the DVDs they had been arguing about. My hands start shaking, so I shove them in my pockets and look at the ground.
"Um so I've actually been meaning to tell you this for awhile now..."
I start nudging the table leg with my foot nervously. I can't look up from the floor. Just DO it Harry!
"I'm gay"
I still stare at the ground waiting for the boys to respond. I only look up when I hear Niall say-
"Geez it was about time!"
"Huh?"
"Look Harry don't take this the wrong way, but we all suspected you were gay and for a while too. And just so you know we love no matter what."
"He's right Harry, but I just wish that you weren't so scared to tell us, we're your best mates after all." Liam said with a half smile.
Louis got up from the couch and hugged me.
"Niall right Harry, we all love you so much and there's nothing that could ever change that."
Just before he lets go, he whispers so only I can hear -
"I just wish I was as brave as you"
And before I can even have a second to think about what Louis meant by that, I got tackled by Liam, Niall and Zayn. Soon all five of us are in a laughing heap on the floor. We leave for rehearsals soon after that, as if nothing's changed. And that's exactly how I wanted it to be. But all through rehearsals, up until I feel myself drifting to sleep, what Louis said keeps playing on my mind. "I just wish I was as brave as you".
What the hell could that mean?