I want to write you a song

Another World

"Not again" I whisper.
I try to go back to sleep, but I toss and turn until I realise that there's no use. I quietly put on some shorts and a t-shirt, then grab my shoes.
I quickly slip out the door and quietly shut it behind me. I put my earphones in and hit shuffle on my playlist. "Silver" by the DMA'S starts playing and I start walking down the street.
"How come this have happened again? I don't know why I keep having these...these dreams about Harry. And at first they were just dreams, just innocent dreams, but this was the first dream like...like tonight's."
I blush thinking about the fragments that I could still remember.
"I just don't know how to stop them. This must be the third week in a row that I've been having these dreams. I'm scared at what they could mean, but what scares me more is the fact that deep down I don't think I want them stop."
I continue walking down the abandoned street, feeling the cold air hit my skin.
"These dreams aren't helping with the fact that I'm already confused as it is. For months now I've been trying to figure out my sexuality. Well months that I've actually been letting my self think about it, but it's probably closing to years that I've kind of known. I just couldn't bring myself to say it or even acknowledge it. The funny thing is, I hate that I feel this way, I hate that I can't just be who I am without feeling worry in the back of my mind. I couldn't believe it when Harry came out. It's not like I thought the boys would give him a hard time. But the fact that he could tell the whole world, fans, management, family, friends...is just something I can never see myself doing. I can barely say it aloud while walking down an abandoned street at 3am."
I take a deep breathe.
"I'm gay." I whisper.
Instinctively, I turn around to make sure no one is behind me, or could have heard me. When I'm greeted with no one, I turn back and continue walking.
It's times like this when I can let me mind wander to unrealistic places. Places where I wasn't a famous band member. Places where I was normal and not constantly in the spotlight. Another world where I could have meet Harry and be with him without feeling like it was something wrong. Or having to constantly worry about what millions of people were saying about us. A place where I was brave enough to come out, brave enough to tell everyone who I really was, brave enough to tell Harry I loved him.