It's complicated II Kellic

3. Homophobia

Kellin's POV:
This wasn't the first summer that we were constantly hanging out at Mike's place as we had spent practically the entire last summer roaming around his house as well. The biggest difference between last year and this year seems to be the fact that Vic seems a lot more bothered by it this year.

My crush on Vic started to develop during last summer but I wasn't as obvious about it as I have been these past couple of times when we've met so I can only guess that is why he's more bothered by us being here.

I can't stop thinking about what Mike said to me a few days ago when he confronted me about my crush and what I was thinking the crush would or wouldn't lead to.

I don't want to belive what he said about Vic being homophobic, I really don't. And I actually have a hard time believing that that is the truth.

Part of me fears that it's right and that's the explanation behind how disgusted he seemed about me trying to kiss him but it just doesn't make sense considering he seemed all jittery when accepting a cup of coffee from me, a boy.

I also know that Mike and Vic are brothers who bicker quite often but I also know that they really do care for each other and they are really close. Mike has told me that the way they talk to each other is completely different when it's just the two of them compared to how Vic speaks while we're around.

So knowing that Vic and Mike are actually really close has me in a place where I really have a hard time believing that he'd be homophobic against his own brother.. and Tony! Who could ever hate on someone as precious as little Tony?

Maybe he just seems uncomfortable around them because they're a couple? Not because they're a gay couple but simply because he thinks it's kind of awkward to see his little brother intimate with someone? That would make sense after all. I wouldn't blame someone for getting uncomfortable by that, straight couple or not!

Still I know I may just be living on false hope here and Vic may actually have homophobic opinions. Yet I really really don't want to belive that's what it's like.

Personally I have realized one thing from being out as gay for a couple of years by now. Many guys, especially teenage guys, act and talk as if they are homophobic while in reality they don't really give a shit.

It's all about being scared of getting labeled as gay themselves since all the other guys around them also have built up this image of themselves as super homophobic and no one dares to be the first to break this toxic shit. In actuality, most of them couldn't care less about people being gay.

I hope that this is the case with Vic. That he's just been around the wrong people in our dumb society and feels some sort of pressure to act homophobic but isn't actually so. Even if that won't guarantee him having an interest in me it sure would be a step in the right direction at least.

My thoughts get interrupted by Mike and Tony coming down the stair, messy hair and slightly messed up clothes as well. They both stop at the bottom of the stairs, staring at Jaime and I who had let ourselves in and sat on the couch waiting for them, though Jaime has spent the last five minutes on the phone with his mom, giving me the time to daydream about Vic.

"How long have you been here?!" Mike asks with panic in his voice and I can't help but to grin teasingly at Tony and him.

The messed up hair, messed up clothes and the fact that Mike seems kind of panicked and Tony is hiding with embarrassment behind him makes it easy for me to figure out what they'd been up to before Jaime and I got here.

"Ten minutes or something. Don't worry we only heard one single moan that was louder than the others so we figured we'd let you guys finish but we didn't hear anything else," I say with hands raised in defense and my words cause poor Tony to practically go tomato-red in his face and even Mike is blushing a little by now, usually way more relaxed about these sort of things than his boyfriend.