messages from her.

07.

OMNISCIENT.

On that day, April 23rd, 2019, the day after Austin had received the birth letter he moved on to the second most awaited letter, her first birthday, not knowing it would also have the second inside as well. He knew for certain he would see how she would look now and maybe even see Cecelia and that's truly all he needed to be happy. Recently in the media he had been getting hated on and although some were showing sympathy from his outbreak on his live and from the hate itself it still got to him.

He was sick of being treated like the odd member out and feeling like it in his own house sometimes. He knew that the guys cared about him and he did to them too, but the connection they had as brothers just became less and less for him, well musically anyways. Austin felt bad for feeling like that but he knew that he couldn't deny himself his own feelings so this letter meant a lot more to him than just seeing someone on a picture but he seen two of the most beautiful people and nothing could change his mind about that, ever.

June 6th, 2017

So it's about eleven and today was her first birthday. Nothings really changed for me, since her birth I guess. She's the literal love of my life. I would empty without and she's so smart. She can walk and she's talking and singing and she has so much energy so I put her in tikes gymnastics and she's so good. She's like a little Pasen Keeler from make it or break it oh my gosh. She knows who you are Austin, she knows every lyric to every song and she's your number one fan. When she hears your parts, which you need more of by the way, she'll make everyone in the room be quiet and she's like "daddy's play" and she'll go "shhh" and put her little finger over her lip and it's just beautiful. She said when she gets older she wants to "be daddy star" which means she wants to be a star like you.

She looks up to you and she has a little crush on your friend Brandon. She will pretend to call him and she'll be like "hello? hi Brandon I love you." And then she'll say bye and hang up. Anyways, today she was so happy to see everyone from her class come to our house and she showed them her toys and they all were singing to her and she was saying thank you and giving hugs. Austin our baby is precious and in time I promise you'll get to meet her and love her and everything.

—From Celly 🖤

As he moved on to the next page he realized by her signature that it was another letter attached.

June 6th, 2018

So happy Alianna Day part two. Our precious little child is getting so big and she finally met her grandma and her grandpa this year. She blew off gymnastics, her favorite thing besides you and your music and oddly enough, not really, drawing and coloring nonstop, to meet them and I think she really likes them.

I took her to North Carolina to see them and I was going to take them over to your moms but I knew I couldn't face the woman who watched you weather through my disappearance, and the woman who loved and cared for me as much as she did you and as much as she would've done for Ali. I was scared and it didn't make the situation better.

Maybe then you would've been able to meet her and you could've got to talk to her. She would tell you how much she loves you and tell you how much 'daddy star' means to her. She actually insisted on wearing your solo career merch. She made sure she got to wear 'daddy's big shirt with his face on it,' and I wouldn't have had it any other way. All in all she spent all day talking to my parents about you and her friends and how much mama missed them. How much we both want to see you is crazy, Austin.

And I know I was supposed to have sent these last year but I just couldn't. I chickened out I'm sorry but I promise to send these before her third, I don't want you to lose another year and I don't want her to waste another year looking at pictures when she could be with you. I'm being selfish and I'm sorry.

You guys should've met by now and I'm being such a nuisance and a hinderance. You know sometimes I feel like I should just bring her to you and disappear. Our baby is so beautiful and so smart, oh my goodness Austin she's shaping up to be brilliant. She's learning geography right now, she started singing the Africa song which is something I used to play to see if she picked up on it and then I looked up the continent and she knew exactly what it was. Austin her mind is magnificent and I don't think I'm fit to keep her and maintain her. She deserves someone better than a flake like me.

I ran away from you because I was having her and I didn't tell you, and I kill my self every single day because I did that to you. I probably say this every letter and I'm pretty sure I said it in this one but I'm so sorry for what I did to you. You deserve the opportunity to love Alianna, and care for the extraordinary child she is. She's the love of my life and I believe it's time you got to learn the experience. At least for a little while.

—From Celly 🖤

Austin felt the hot tears roll down his face in pride and a slight tinge of sadness as he read about how amazing his daughter was doing as well as Cecelia's doubts but by her letters and the brilliance of his daughter, he knew he got from her mother, showed something completely different. It wasn't uncommon for Cecelia to think this way about herself in every situation, even though it caused Austin to feel pain for her. He loved her and wanted her to be happy with her accomplishments, even small things like making a ninety seven when she wanted nothing but a perfect one hundred. She had done that her whole life so she felt like if she didn't give Alianna what she felt she couldn't have for herself then she wasn't good enough.

AALIYAH.
I be like that deadass
I almost cried because I got a
93 on a bio test when that's was my
favorite class and best subject,
in my opinion. That shit hurts
my feelings deadass like I always
want academic perfection because
that's all I've been taught my whole life.

Cecelia doesn't want Alianna to lose her
childhood to education but she wants her to take it seriously from a young age and she's doing everything she can to make that happen.