Heartfelt

29

Sorry 

I'm sorry for the way that I acted. 

I'm sorry for the things that I said. 

I'm sorry for hurting you so much that you haven't trusted someone else.

I'm sorry for the way I made you feel inside and outside.

I'm sorry for they way things occurred. 

I'm sorry for thinking that the best way of protecting myself was to be a cold-hearted bitch 

I'm sorry that i was hurting and you came and had to be a victim of the outcome. 

I'm sorry I couldn't show you the love and appreciation you wanted from me or the same thing you showed me. 

If you give me the chance, please let me explain.

 I was, I was like you once, I had a person that I had thought was special. I had given them everything I had and most likely more than that. And it wasn't special as in a romantic type of way it was more as in someone that was going to be there for me no matter what and for the most part they were. But unfortunately I was wrong, in that point in time I did ignore all the signs that were given to me, i didn't want to believe them, I was really naive, and I didn't want to believe they were bad for me in any kind of way because they gave me what I wanted. They gave me a false hope, a facade that I yearned for. Because they were therefor me for more than six years I believed their intentions were true. They were filled with so much happiness, joy and laughter, so much encouragement, they were there for me in an emotional way, for emotional support as much as I was for them. Me and that person had been through so much together and dug each other out of so many holes as well as throwing each other into them. They had broken my shy self to express myself and to speak my mind they were they first person that stayed after so many people had already left. They gave me everything I ever wanted in almost every way possible. They didn't create me, they let me be myself, they changed my life as well as they changed my perception of people and trusting others. But by the end of all of this, you had appeared, you had a popped up out of nowhere with your cheery self. Your innocent happy self, you knew no harm, and you wanted me to be as happy as you were and I never let you, I blocked you off I had let you down so many times because I believed I didn't have any and you stood by my side. I'm sorry. I turned you, I turned you into something else, no I didn't turn you into into anything, I fucked up your emotions, and I uh I'm sorry, I, I, I, I know see that you were only truing to do what was best for me, your were trying to make me be happy again, you were trying to make me feel again, and um I didn't let you, I didn't let you, I um I'm sorry I don't I, I didn't know you, I didn't know you that well and I'm sorry, I'm really sorry please forgive me.