A Trial by Halves

Guilty

With just a bowl of water and a few soft cloths, Bai Qian once again found herself cleaning his wounds while Ye Hua remained stationary watching her face closely as her thoughts took her back to the day she first met him.

The wounds back then had looked just as aweful as they did now, but rather than cry at the sight of him, she instead shook her head at how incredibly gullible she had been.  Like a child, she had taken his wounds at face value and had believed every word that had come out of his mouth along with the miraculous healing and his explanation that it had been her useless concoction of herbs that had healed him.

Of course she knew now that it was all a lie just to get close to her, and had she not fallen in love with him, she might have actually angered over it.  But she couldn't, not when she now knew the reason for the secrecy which they was still hanging over their heads.

 Watching her, Ye Hua still couldn't believe that she was there with him.  It had been one week since that war and yet here he was, on his bed wounded and there she was nursing him all over again with the same soft gentleness in her eyes as the first time.  For the past seven days he had watched every manner of expression pass through her highly expressive eyes, yet always there had been something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Only this time, he thought he may have figured out what it was.  It barely sat below the surface of the calm smile that never seemed to waver no matter how unsettling things had become, especially Cheng Yus punishment which had left the woman in agony.  He knew it distressed her, yet the smile remained regardless.  And as she cleaned his wounds as she had done every day for seven days, it finally clicked.

The innocence was still there as were the emotions that had endeared him to Su Su.  There was also that hint of mischief in the sparkle that her eyes would sometimes turn in his direction.  But behind the calm smile and tender look that she was giving him at that very moment was a quiet maturity, one that could only have been born from a lifetime of experience.

She had lived through so much and suffered immensely because of the choices he had made and because of him, not only did she almost lose her life, but she would soon have to suffer again when he left to take on his own punishment.  Yet still the smile remained, her eyes continued to sparkle and rather than cry like Su Su had done, she merely did what needed to be done.  And that was to get him healed as quickly as possible so he could face his fate in order to free him for a future with her.

Stopping her hand before she could change the cloth, he drew it to his chest where he held onto it for a moment.

"I'm sorry." he said softly up at the eyes that were still just as calm even though he knew his were not.  

"For what?"  she asked as that smile grew a little wider.  "For loving me?" 

"I could have done things much differently.  Only now you are faced with possibly losing me." he replied honestly because they both knew that what was coming could see her made a widow regardless of whether his Grandfather accepted their Mortal marriage or not which he had yet to discuss with him.

Flipping their hands around so his was now firmly in her grip, she pulled it back towards herself where she firmly placed it against her left breast.

"Ye Hua.  Do you know why I am here right now, when I really should be at home tending to my people having been gone for so long or on Kunlun Mountain reuniting with my brothers that I have not seen in over seventy thousand years?" she asked as the smile suddenly disappeared and a look of determination took over.

He said nothing because he was already creating an argument against whatever came out of her mouth next.  Instead he allowed her to hold his hand a little longer while he waited for her to speak.  Which brought something else mind.  She rarely spoke unless she had something to say, unlike Su Su, who was rather chatty,  whereas Si Yin seemed to have a whole lot to say.