Damon's Daughter

Werewolf or Vampire or Both

Sabrina's POV

8 weeks ago

Today was great. My dad took me to school like any other day, but when I got out of his car he give me something. It was a book so I read it. It was a diary. I read:Dear Diary, I am not a believer. People are born, they grow old, and then they die. That's the world we live in. There's no magic, no mysticism, no immortality. There is nothing that defies rational thought. People are supposed to be who they say they are and not lie or hide their true selves. It's not possible. I'm not a believer. I can't be..But, how can I deny what's right in front of me? Someone who never gets old, never gets hurt. Someone who changes in ways that can't be explained. Girls bitten. Bodies drained of blood. Dear Diary, I know its been a while. A long while. I haven't needed... I haven't wanted to write this stuff down, but I don't want to say it out loud either. The thing is: I'm a vampire and I hate it. I feel hopeless, depressed, angry, but most of all; I'm scared. Part of me just wants to end it, but then I think of Jeremy. I'm all that he has left, so I need to find a way through this. No matter what it takes. Dear Diary, today I did the thing I was most afraid of. I lost control. I killed someone. I used to think the worst feeling in the world was losing someone you loved, but I was wrong. The worst feeling is the moment that you realize that you've lost yourself. I also read this to my class:Dear Diary, Today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say, "I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl that lost her parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through. Dear Diary, I made it through the day. I must have said " I'm fine, thanks " at least 37 times, and I didn't mean it once. And no one noticed. When someone asks " how are you? " they really don't want an answer. Dear Diary, I was wrong. I thought that I could smile and nod my way through it, pretend like it would all be okay. I had a plan, I wanted to change who I was, create a life with someone new, without the past, without the pain, someone alive. But it's not that easy. The bad things stay with you, they follow you, you can't escape them- as much as you want to. All you can do is be ready for the good, so when it comes, you invite it in. Because you need it. I need it. Dear Diary, this morning was different. There's change. I can sense it...feel it. For once, I don't regret the day before it begins. Because I know I will see him again. For the first time in a long time, I feel good. I tried. I want so much to make things right but every instinct in my body is telling me to be careful. What you don't know can hurt you. Dear Diary, today I convinced myself it was okay to give up. Don't take risks. Stick with the status quo. No drama, now is just not the time. But my reasons aren't reasons, they're excuses. All I'm doing is hiding from the truth and truth is that... I'm scared, Stefan. I'm scared that if I let myself to be happy for even one moment that... the world's just going to come crashing down, and I... I don't know if I can survive that. I said it was my grams diary. But I think it's my mom diary. I will find out.

Damom's POV

Today

I will find her.