better. (a cake au)

four.

"What was I thinking?" I ask Calum as we sit on my bed, a bowl of popcorn between us.

"Hey, you gave it a shot. Plus, you said he kissed you back before he pulled away, right? So maybe he does like you. Maybe he's just confused."

"It's just... I messed everything up. I want to just be his friend but now I can't even do that."

"But- I thought you really liked him." Says Cal, lifting some popcorn to his mouth.

"I did, it's just... When I kissed him, I didn't feel a.... spark I guess. This sounds so cliche, oh my god I hate myself." I say with a small laugh and rub my forehead.

"Luke." Calum laughs. "How would you even know what a spark feels like? He's the only person you've ever kissed."

"I kissed you." I say softly, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

"Yeah but that was just... Luke.. what are you saying?" he asks.

"I don't know... I just know I felt something when I kissed you that I didn't when I kissed him."

"Well- maybe it was just that since I was the first person you ever kissed it felt more exciting than the second."

"Maybe..." I sigh. I'm just confused."

"Well why don't you kiss me again then?" Calum says.

"But- Calum- you're not attracted to guys. What if I'm attracted to you? It'll ruin everything."

"I never said I wasn't attracted to guys." He answers.

"Well- are you?"

"I'm not sure. But we can find out."

"Are you sure?"

"100%" he answers.

"Okay.." I say tentatively. What is happening here? I nervously lean over the bowl of popcorn inbetween us and place my hand on Calum's neck. He places his on my cheek and I pull him up towards me. There's a moment of hesitation as our lips almost brush, and then he gently presses his lips to mine. It's a confusing feeling. At first it feels wrong to be kissing my best friend, but after a moment, when our lips are in sink, it feels right. It feels like a relief, kind of. Like this thing that's always been in the back of my head is finally off my shoulders. The kiss lasts about about 15 seconds before we pull away.

"Guess I taught you well." Says Calum with a small laugh. "Did you feel the spark?"

"Yes." I say and bite my upper lip. "Did you?"

"Yes." He answers with a nod. "But it's not that simple."

"What do you mean?" I ask with a frown.

"I mean, what if we get in a fight? if we decide to go back to being just friends, will it work?"

"What if we just like... took a test run for a week? See how we like it? And it if it doesn't work, we'll go back to normal." I say and run a hand through my hair.

"Okay. Good idea." He says and smiles. He reaches out for my hand and I give it him. "You're really beautiful, Luke. I've kind of always wanted to tell you that. I don't need eyes to see it, either."

"So are you." I say with a smile.

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The next week of our "test run" went extremely well. Michael avoided me all day on Thursday, and on Friday at lunch, he walked over when Calum and I were kissing, and started to cry when he saw us. I don't know what this means, but I know that I felt kind of bad. Maybe he did have feelings for me after all. But I didn't care. All I cared about was Calum. He spent the night Friday, and we stayed up all night kissing, eating popcorn, and watching rom-coms and chick flicks. On Saturday, we went on our first official date to the Cheesecake Factory, and afterwards, we went to the movies to see that new scary movie about the doll. Neither of us watched. We mostly just hid our eyes out of pure terror since we both hate scary movies. I went to his house on Saturday and stayed the night. On Sunday we spent all day in his bed, under the covers kissing and doing all the things I'd wanted to do for so long. Like kiss his neck, or touch his muscles without it being weird. I left late on Sunday night, and stayed up all night thinking about how excited I was to see him the next day. For the rest of the test week, we were inseparable. His name in my phone changed from Calum with a smiley emoji, to Cal with three heart emojis and a kiss emoji. We became less Calum and Luke and more CalumandLuke. And everything was perfect.