TEXT MSG, minsung

45

"...minho, we need to talk."

minho turned over on bedroom bed, only to see felix beside the door, fiddling nervously with his thumbs. honestly, he wasn't surprised that he came, as his mother was particularly fond of him and she thought he was a good influence on her son.

but that didn't mean he wasn't slightly irritated that she'd allowed felix to enter his room without informing him first, no matter how intensely his heart sped up at the younger male's presence. ever since he'd been discharged from the hospital, he'd spent his days at his mother's house, using his body's gradual recovery as an excuse to miss his college classes and barely communicate with his friends. he never touched his phone either, and most of his days were spent inside his bedroom, thinking about nothing as the hours passed by.

he stared at felix, forcing his expression to remain blank as his eyes took in the younger's flustered state.

even when felix was nervous, he still incredibly beautiful. and minho hated that he couldn't control, and get rid of the feelings he had for the australian.

"can i come in -- i mean," felix cleared his throat, "can i sit next to you?"

minho just nodded his head yes, before lethargically sitting up so his back would press against his bedroom wall. even that minimal action took a lot of effort on his part, as he felt so tired.

"what do you want to talk about?" minho asked, keeping his eyes glued on his bed as felix sat down next to him. he took notice of how his palms started getting clammy.

"i... i'm sorry," felix started, biting hard on his lip. he looked like he was mentally fighting himself concerning something, and minho instantly picked up on it. "i wanted to apologize."

minho locked gazes with him. "...apologize for what?"

if it was even possible, felix looked even more nervous.

"fuck, minho -- i'm so, so sorry. i'm sorry for what i made you go through for so long, and i'm so sorry i didn't realize it sooner."

a chill ran down minho's spine. his throat suddenly turned dry. "what... what are you talking about?"

felix clenched his hands into fists, looking away from minho's eyes. "i'm sorry that i can't return your feelings. i'm so sorry."

"what?" minho's eyes widened.

at this, felix looked up. something in minho's expression must've daunted him, because in a second his ears grew red and he started stumbling on his words.

"please don't be mad, minho. i -- i'm so sorry. y-you're such a wonderful friend to me, and you're an amazing person who deserves someone who will love you unconditionally. i'm so sorry that i can't be that person."

the walls of minho's bedroom felt like they were caving in, and suddenly, he experienced that all too familiar feeling of not being able to breathe.

felix's eyes grew wide in fear, and he placed his hand on top of minho's. "minho -- "

minho pulled his hand back. "who told you?"

"minho, i -- " felix began, but minho interrupted him.

"who told you?" minho surprised himself by how firm and angry his voice was. he sounded furious.

felix bit his lip, clearly taken aback by minho's brash tone. "...changbin."

"fuck," minho whispered, hurriedly running a hand through his dark locks. he tugged at the strands.

"i'm sorry," felix said again, his tone sympathetic, and that only made minho even angrier with the situation at hand. he felt like all this wasn't fair to him in the slightest.

"you couldn't have chosen a worse time to talk to me about this," minho stated, his voice unnervingly stoic. his hands started to shake, and even when he clenched them they still continued to tremor.

"i'm sorry -- "

"stop apologizing!" minho exclaimed, startling the younger male. "stop it. i was already having a shitty day, and now you've made it a thousand times worse. just stop it, felix. stop it..."

felix winced at this, and his face grew a stark red in shock and embarrassment. "i-i didn't mean for that to happen, minho. i just -- i just wanted us to talk things out -- "

"so that you can see how much of a pathetic idiot i am for still loving you even though you'll never ever have feelings for a fucking mess like i am!" minho replied, his face getting red hot with anger. tears cornered his vision, and once more minho felt utterly pathetic. he felt so pathetic.

"i really didn't mean that, minho," felix tried to reason, but minho wasn't listening to him anymore. he felt his friend's comforting touch on his trembling fist, but yet it stung so badly. "minho... please stop crying."

"you'll never love me."

"i do love you, minho."

"not like that," minho replied, sniffing and wiping off his tears with his free hand. the ringing silence that came afterwards pained him more than anything else ever would. he felt like a sore loser.

"i'm sorry..."

"i told you to stop saying that," minho muttered, all the fight completely leaving him. even when felix didn't say anything, he got the answer loud and clear.

he'll never love you, not with how much of an unstable mess you are. he'll never ever ever ever love you.

"minho..."

he looked up at the australian with glassy eyes, his mind conjuring up a thought that sounded so absurd and crazy, but minho figured he had nothing to lose now. if he got rejected, then so be it.

"felix?"

"yeah?" the red haired male replied, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

"can you kiss me? if you agree... i promise i'll never bother you with my feelings anymore."

minho's hands were shaking so badly now, and his heartbeat accelerated when felix took those hands in his, stroking them to try and rid them of their tremors. goosebumps rose along minho's arms just with his mere touch.

"i'll kiss you," felix replied, and minho didn't know whether to feel relieved or heartbroken.

when the younger's lips touched his, it was everything and nothing like minho'd imagined at the same time. felix's lips felt wonderful against his, and a fragile warmth bloomed within minho's chest just as felix softly carded his hand through his hair, tenderly caressing his cheek afterwards. fireworks sparked like glowing stars as soon as minho closed his eyes, and numerous butterflies excitedly flew around in his stomach. he felt amazing, falling deeper and deeper in love, but yet he also felt dread because he knew that none of this was real. he was the only one who experienced this addictive, beautiful euphoria, and felix was just fulfilling his end of their deal.

felix was just kissing him because that was what he was told to do.

the kiss lasted shorter than minho had wanted it to, but yet he knew he couldn't complain. felix was just doing his part of the bargain, and now it was minho's turn to try and forget how felix made his heart flutter a million times over.

"i'm really sorry," felix murmured. when he hugged minho, minho's eyes pricked with unshed tears. "i'm so sorry."

oh how minho hated those three words so much.

***

a/n: lol, thoughts?