Fireflies // Peterick

13.

Their group meeting ended for the night. They were dismissed to go back to their rooms. Pete and Patrick were silent, and they didn't look at each other as they walked into their room. Pete sat down at his desk and watched Patrick, wondering who would break the silence. Patrick had his back turned, facing his closet. He picked up his pajamas and made a move towards the door.

"Patrick, wait," Pete blurted. Patrick froze. He didn't look at Pete. "We should talk. About what happened out there."

Patrick shook his head. "It was a mistake. Don't worry about it." He looked at Pete with a forced smile.

"A mistake?" Pete said. He stood up and stepped closer.

"Yeah." Patrick took a step back, but ran into the wall. "A mistake," he said softly. "I shouldn't have done that."

Pete backed away, not wanting to frighten Patrick. A thought crossed his mind and he stood up straighter. "Then why did you?"

Patrick's eyes widened. "What?" he said in a gasp.

"You're my roommate," Pete began softly. "I know you. You're private and you think things through. You're not impulsive." He paused. "It wasn't a mistake, was it?"

Patrick stared at him. "You don't understand."

"I don't." Pete took a small step closer. "Tell me."

Patrick sighed and looked away. "I can't be in a relationship."

"No one's saying you have to be." Pete stepped towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Talk to me, Patrick," he pleaded.

Patrick's eyes fluttered shut. "I like you. A lot. And when I...it was because I thought you liked me too. But you didn't say anything. You didn't do anything."

"You caught me off guard," Pete said quietly. "I didn't have time to process what had happened."

Patrick shook his head. "It doesn't matter." His eyes opened and they were filled with tears. "My dad..."

Pete's free hand clenched into a fist. He calmed himself down, not wanting to interrupt.

"My dad wouldn't let me be in a relationship. He fucks up everything good. He tries to get between me and my siblings all the time, and he always holds the littlest things against us. Like we owe him something for existing. Every relationship I've tried to have gets smothered by him. And it doesn't matter what gender they are. He's not homophobic...just an ass."

Pete didn't know what to say. He swallowed. "I...wow."

"Yeah." Patrick wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry,  I know it's a lot, I just..."

"Hey, it's okay. It's not your fault." Pete grabbed Patrick's chin and titled his head up.

"I know, I know." Patrick's eyes closed. "I just wish things were different. I want to have someone."

Pete moved his hand from Patrick's chin to his cheek. He stroked his skin with his thumb, and Patrick sighed, leaning into his hand. Patrick's eyes opened, and he looked calmer. He gave Pete a soft smile. Pete returned it.

"Pete?"

"Yeah?"

"What would you have done? If when I'd kissed you, you'd had time to process what was happening."

"I would've kissed back."

Patrick's cheeks turned pink. "Oh." He rested his hands on Pete's shoulders. "Would you, uh, want a do-over?"

Pete nodded. He inched closer and connected their foreheads. "Can I?"

Patrick closed his eyes. "Yes," he whispered.

Pete kissed Patrick gently, still tracing lines on his cheek with his thumb. The way Patrick kissed back was clumsy and perfect, and Pete didn't want to stop. Patrick's lips were soft and warm, just like he thought they'd be. He placed his free hand on Patrick's back, right between his shoulder blades, and pulled him a tiny bit closer. Patrick sighed into the kiss, raking a hand through Pete's hair.

Patrick broke away first, and he buried his face in Pete's shoulder. "Wow," he murmured, still holding Pete in place.

Pete rubbed circles into Patrick's back and worked on catching his breath. The hand that had been cupping Patrick's cheek moved to cradle his head. "Yeah. Wow." Pete caught his breath, becoming worried that Patrick was upset when he didn't pull away. "You okay?"

Patrick nodded. He turned his head so his nose was brushing against Pete's neck, causing Pete to shiver. "A little overwhelmed, but other than that?" He giggled. "I'm great."

A thought crossed Pete's mind. "Wait. Was that your first kiss?"

"Technically my second, since I kissed you earlier, but." Patrick tightened his hold on Pete's shoulders. "Yeah. Is that okay?"

Pete's next laugh knocked the breath out of his chest. "Fuck. That's...of course it's okay. I'm fucking honored."

Patrick pulled back enough to look at Pete, bright pink and smiling. "Really?"

Pete nodded. He stared at Patrick. "God, I love it when you do that."

Patrick cocked his head. "What?"

"Blush." Pete pulled Patrick in for another long kiss. When he pulled away, Patrick's cheeks were redder than before.

"We should go to bed. It's late," he said quietly.

Pete touched their foreheads together. "Yeah. I guess we should."

Patrick grinned. "Are you going to let go?"

"Only if you do," Pete joked, kissing him on the nose. They let go of each other and changed into their pajamas.

"Hey," Patrick said just before he turned out the light. Pete was already in his bed, ready to sleep, but he sat up and nodded for Patrick to continue. "Can I-and it's okay if you say no- can I sleep with you?" Patrick looked down at his feet. "I want to cuddle."

Pete smiled. He climbed out of his bed and wrapped him arms around Patrick. He turned off the light, then gave Patrick a quick kiss and pulled him to bed.

Pete wrapped his arms around Patrick's waist and threw a leg over his. Patrick tucked Pete's head under his chin and put a hand on Pete's back, cradling Pete's head with the other.

They relaxed into each other, almost sleeping, but not quite. Pete nuzzled Patrick's neck every few minutes, slowly running a hand up and down Patrick's side. Patrick shivered when Pete's hand passed over his waist, and Pete stopped.

"Nooo," Patrick groaned, nudging Pete. "Don't stop. It feels nice."

Pete didn't need to be told twice.

Patrick wasn't still, either. He ran his hand through Pete's hair, stroking the nape of his neck. Patrick traced his hairline, following the line of his scalp down to his ear and then outlining the curve of his jaw. Pete hummed in appreciation, almost purring every time Patrick did it. Every few minutes, Patrick would hold him a little tighter, squeezing gently, before relaxing.

They fell asleep slowly, and they didn't let go of each other until they had to get up the next morning.

Even then, they were almost late getting up because they didn't want to leave the warmth of each other's arms.