Gloom Boys - Brallon

blood

brendon shouldn't make promises.

he always breaks them, and hurts other people in the process.

This time, he won't let it hurt other people when he breaks his promise. 

He won't be there to see them get hurt. 

Brendon is having a rough night again. He doesn't call Dallon this time. He needs to learn to be on his own. 

He lays on his bed, tears running down the side of his face onto the pillow and stares at the green stars on the ceiling. 

"I can't fucking do this anymore. I can't handle this." He says to himself, his breathing quick and shallow.

He doesn't even know why he is sad anymore. He seriously can't stand himself. 

Brendon wants to hurt. It would feel so much better than just the sinking feeling in his chest. The feeling of guilt settles into his stomach as he wipes his tears, searching frantically for another blade. 

Finally, he finds the shiny metal object, wasting no time in stripping himself of his hoodie and slicing at the pale flesh. 

He doesn't think he can stop. 

Maybe he will hit a vein.

Maybe this is it. 

Is this the end?

No, no it can't be

Not yet. 

The blade falls from his nimble, shaking fingers and he gasps when he sees what he has done in the mirror. 

There's blood dripping down his arm from his left bicep and blood is catching in the hem of his sweatpants from wounds on his flat stomach.

Brendon thinks that he should start taking his pills again. 

-

Dallon sits in the bath, the water coming to the edge of the tub, about to spill at any second. He looks at the ceiling and sighs, the steam making his face feel hot and he can't breathe.

He hasn't gotten a single text from Brendon tonight

Dallon knows what this means, but he doesn't say anything.

The last thing he wants to do is overwhelm the boy

He loves him so so much. Dallon would do anything for him, he would live or die for Brendon, and the boy has no idea.

His legs are far too long for the tub he sits in, so his knees are bent and he rests his head uncomfortably on the tile wall

There's a razor blade on the closed toilet lid, the one he took from Brendon. 

Dallon wonders if it's unsafe to use it if Brendon has already cut with it, but does it really matter anymore?

He reaches out and grabs the blade, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he places it at the inside of his wrist

It stings, but nothing hurts more than watching as Brendon falls apart right in front of Dallon. 

The water in the tub is now a light pink color, and Dallon thinks he should stop for now. 

He gets out of the tub and dabs at his wrist with a washcloth, frowning as a red stain blooms on the white cloth. Sorry mom.

Dallon puts a bandaid on his wrist and wraps a towel around his waist, looking at his small frame in the mirror. 

Sometimes, Dallon wishes he knew how to quit that beautiful boy down the road.