I'm all defeated
I'm dying inside
The depression , the hurt , the thoughts are scaring me now and I'm Feeling faithless .
Everyday doing nothing
There's a lack of appetite
Lack of sleep ,
Lack of every damn thing that I should be doing which I'm not .
I'm just a sober dying here ,
In the corner of a room in an unknown place where there is no light .
And Every midnight when the clock is about to turn at 3am ,
My hands start shivering ,
My tears start falling apart
I can't control myself as I feel as if I'm crawling in my skin !
Something scares me real hard
I don't know what !?
Every night with those puffed eyes I try to close them but they are full of lacerate .
But I'm in vexation as I'm afraid of this hour ,
As 3-4am is known as devil's hour and I'm afraid to face her
I'm afraid of getting more lesions on my body
The scars and bruises have been growing since she entered into me .
And now more of blood is shed from my body .
I dreamed of angles , not demons
I dreamed of me being good happy person , not a dying sober full of blood and lacerate.
But now that I see her everywhere even though she isn't here , I feel more scared as I feel she's haunting inside me ,
I feel so insecure .
But now I've got questions scaring me every night !!
Why does this happen to me ?
Is anything wrong in me ?
Am I a devil too now ?
These thoughts hardly scare me now though but these thoughts are killing me inside !!
Is she for real or is this just an illusion !??
Omfg !!! this ain't the end of thoughts ! ugghhh!!
