Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 14: I broke her nose.

"I told him I l-l-loved him!" I choke out between sobs. Cam is holding me like my mother would and I'm sobbing my eyes out on my bed. Collin won't come in here because he's uncomfortable. He did once and he cracked a joke to make me laugh and I started screaming at him. Mom will, but she keeps getting upset so she leaves. Dakota, Kara, and Blake are busy trying to jog Will's memory with the guys. Mrs. Jefferson comes in when Mom does, but Julian won't and neither will Mr. Jefferson. Cole and Sara don't come in here ever.

"I know." Cam sighs, patting my back. "But don't lose water over a guy. He'll come around."

I know it isn't Will's fault. I'm not mad at him. He doesn't remember me. He can't control it.

But I can't control the heartbreak.

"I'm getting hammered." I sniff. Cam raises her eyebrows. I stand up and pull on a white hoodie and purple spandex and go downstairs. Everyone is in the kitchen and they fall silent.

"What are you doing?" Mom demands when I open up the cabinet and grab the vodka. I ignroe her and take the top off. I put the bottle to my lips and I chug. It burns going down, but it feels so good.

"Harper!" Mom shrieks. "Stop!"

I pause for a breath. "No!"

My head spins and I already think I'm going to puke from drinking it too fast, but I keep going.

She stands there with a hurt and worried look on her face and watches as I down the vodka, and then I rush to the bathroom and puke the whole thing up. Mom sighs.

"You can't do this, sweetheart. He's just a boy."

I could hit her.

"He is not just a boy." I hiss.

Dakota, Blake, Kara, Tyler, and Vince walk in the house then.

I start drinking again. Mom takes the bottle from my hand and dumps it, along with all the other alcohol bottles.

"You look like shit." Vince says.

I throw the empty bottle of vodka at his head. He ducks and it shatters against the wall. He stands pup straight, eyes wide.

And then I sit down on the floor and start crying again.

"Apparently the love feeling is mutual." Tyler says. "And some people take it differently than others."

Cam pulls me into her arms again, and Blake holds my hand while Kara and Dakota rub my back.

"We have some slightly good news." Dakota tries. "He doesn't remember anything but he said his heart feels weird when he watched you walk away from him."

That just makes me cry harder. She sighs. "Or not."

___________

It took a week for me to stop crying over him and actually leave the house. Cam and I found a house and we're packing up the car. I want to get the hell out of here.

Now I'm just mad. I'm mad at the world. I'm mad at the snow. I'm mad that he doesn't remember me, and I'm mad at him for not remembering me, even though it isn't his fault.

My friends are mad I'm moving. His family is mad I'm moving.

"Don't leave when he fucking needs you, you bastard!" Kara screams, slapping me again.

I broke her nose.

I throw the last box in the car, and I hear a throat clear behind me.

I whip around, ready to kill whoever is talking to me, or trying to, but my eyebrows rise when I see all my friends.

And by all, I mean all, because Will is with them.

My eyes lock with those blue eyes, and I immediately turn around.

I will not cry in front of them. I will not give them the satisfaction of seeing me at my worst.

I turn around and strut into the house, slamming the door behind me.

I didn't tell them my address. Cam didn't tell them my address. Mom isn't even allowed to know my address, because I don't want him coming after me if he does remember.

I might just stop talking to everyone altogether, my mother and brother included.

I'm done with this house. I'm done with my old life here. I'm done being sad over a boy. I will never fall so fearlessly again. People say love is worth the heartache.

They're fucking wrong.

"Let's go, god dammit!" Cam yells. I went upstairs. I storm back down there and put the box in the car. They're still out there. The Jefferson's show up. We say goodbye to everyone. Mom cries, but I don't.

I refuse to cry.

"Let's go." I say to Cam. I purposely didn't hug any of my friends.

"Harper." Will's voice stops me, and everyone gets silent. "When I remember, I'm going to come after you. I know it'll hurt too much for me not too. They've been telling me how much I loved you."

We stare into each other's eyes for the longest time, and then I get in my without replying, and we take off.

The only thing I can think about is Will.