The Sun also Shines In Pakistan.

Chapter 5, part 1: Thank you but I don't want to leave

Nadia was dying. In a way we all are but she was a bit faster than us. Even after giving her plenty of medicines and providing daily healthcare for her star, it had proven to be of waste.

Her star was hurt beyond healing measures and it was only a matter of time till the star's energy burnt out. The doctor had then informed her parents about her condition.

When her parents called her into their room one night she thought it was probably to announce a vacation before going off to college.

"..We're sorry Nadia, we really are.", Nadia's father had spoken with a trembling lip. "It's not your fault, never think that. It's just the way it is and I'm sorry."

"It's not fair, it's just not fair. I was so happy with all my friends, with Salim and Umeed. I had perfect scores and there wasn't a single activity I didn't take part it. so , why am I being punished, dad?", Nadia had asked to try to find reason as she always did for everything.

Nadia's mother took her in her arms and cried. "This isn't a punishment, honey. God just wants to meet you faster than any of us. We don't deserve your love, sweetheart."

"How much time do I have?", Nadia asked biting her lip.

Nadia's father spoke, "Honey, that's not important, it's about living your--."

"How much time do I have?", Nadia repeated now firmer.

"A month.", her mother said and fell onto the floor of tears.

Upon hearing this, Nadia had ran unto Salim's arms and cried for hours. Salim and her cried for hours and he provided her support all throughout the week by showering her with gifts, cards and hugs. He had helped her with her food everyday and her routine and even through her last days,it was Salim who had been her pillar.

The hardest part, Nadia knew, was telling Umeed. Only the three best friends knew that Umeed and Nadia liked each other. They had always caught glances at each other in classes, always walked together back to their buses and always looked out for each other, for almost six months now.

They always acted like friends with one another but they both knew their true feelings.

Salim was her best friend, her brother and Umeed was her supporter.

After two weeks of hearing her news, when the three met Nadia knew it was time to tell him.

"I have to leave.", she told Umeed and ran.

Salim caught her with wet eyes and told her that she had to explain everything to him.

Nadia and Umeed then sat down in a room for hours while Nadia told him everything because Salim told her she had to do this alone, he deserved an explanation.

"But-but the doctors said that there was only a 10 percent chance of death. You told me they said that.", Umeed said with his tone getting higher. He was angry now, not at Nadia and not even at God but at his fate.

"I know, but Umeed, my star is damaged in all forms and it can't be healed. If there was even a little chance of my survival I would take it but I have no option here. It is as it is.", Nadia said folding her legs on the sofa.

"I know you have to leave but I wish it wasn't that way, I wish it was different. I wish you and I could've been together, could've had a life together. Why must God be so selfish?", Umeed said with anger now raising his voice.

"It isn't god who is selfish, it's simply how it is Umeed. Whenever a star runs out, a human dies. We learnt it when we were 11 remember?", she spoke and laughed through her tears.

They were both silent for a while remembering all their moments together.

Remembering how she had always given her homework to Salim but never to Umeed because she knew he could grow more and be better than her only if he tried.

She remembered how Umeed never raised a fist but stood beside her always when someone teased her about her skin.

She remembered how Umeed's cheeks would burn up when someone would bring up her in a conversation.

He now looked up at her, to make it worse she looked perfect sitting there, more beautiful than he could remember.

"Now what?", Nadia spoke fearing he was going to say the inevitable.

"I have no idea but I know that you're going to walk out of this room proudly. This can only make you brave. It can only make you better. You're stronger than you know, Nadia never forget that and I know once we walk out that door things won't be the same between us.

It will be awkward and miserable and we'll both curse our destiny. This will probably be the last time we ever talk like this in person, ever but I know that we'll grow out of this. It will hurt us and haunt us everyday but Nadia, I'll thank the stars everyday that I met a wonderful person like you because...", Umeed said with the last shred of confidence he had left.

"Because, Nadia Malik, I love you."

Nadia smiled, it wasn't a shock to her because she knew she loved him even more.

"You did something that no one could've. You taught me something my parents try to do everyday, you taught me something I can never forget. The second I understood this feeling you helped me realize, I knew that from henceforth I would only understand it better, the songs it has touched, the eyes it had left moist, the moments it had dried up to years.

Thank you, Nadia for teaching me to love. You have literally given me a lifetime in a few million months and as long as my star shines brightly, I'll remember and cherish it forever because I know I will never stop loving you and if you ever come back as another star, remind me you to ask you out earlier.", Umeed spoke and gave a weak smile.

He then got up and looked at her once last like the way he could and left because he knew if he stayed in that room one minute longer, his tears wouldn't have stayed in his eyes.

Nadia got up and left later just to turn back and look at the darn room one last time.

Everything seemed like a last time now but ironically in their last meeting, they finally acted like a couple. Umeed had then ran and gone home. He knew he couldn't face her but more than that he shouldn't be angry.

All his life he had chosen to be the one who kept his feelings within himself and chosen to not tell others about what he felt but that day he let it all out.

He cried till he thought he would go blind, he shouted to god till his throat went dry and wrote and painted and sometimes even just tore the pages in rage until his body gave up.

Why did the things that he had no control over give him the most pain?

Religion, all those years of torment just for being a Muslim. He didn't choose his constellation, didn't choose the God he prayed to.

His skin, that shade of brown that he always tried to hide with as much clothing as he could just so he could just fit in with the other white kids and not be the one teased.

And now, parting he didn't choose death but Nadia had to leave anyway. He would always feel the same for her but now, never be able to tell her again and that, he decided was the worst of all the three because the last one was what God had chosen for everyone.

Just like anyone, he had loved and lost or loves and is lost as he called it but the first two were what humans had caused him to cry over, it was all their fault. He thought about how even though death is served to everyone why must the first two only be suffered by some.

It was simple injustice he decided and that same feeling that had crept on him after they had gotten beaten up at the Moon's cafe, crept up again. It was anger.