Pain Will Always Come Back to Haunt You

I Did it For Something Bigger Than Myself

Of course the one day that Peter needs the distraction, patrol is absolutely uneventful. He should count it as a win that no one is in danger, but the selfish part of him hoped he could do some fighting to get his mind off of everything that happened. It's about 4 pm when he gets the inevitable call from May. He lands on the nearest rooftop and takes a steadying breath before answering.

"Hey," is all he can muster.

"Are you okay?!" May's frantic voice pierces his eardrums. "I saw what happened on the news and then Ned called me saying you didn't go to class after lunch and you didn't answer MJ's texts! We agreed on no more crazy stunts! We need to communicate!" Lack of communication seems to be a common theme lately.

"I'm sorry..." His voice breaks halfway through.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" May's tone softens considerably once she notices something is wrong. Peter can't hold back the waterworks anymore.

"I, I don't know why   it made me so, so upset, y'know? I shouldn't care. But, but I do   and I don't want   to because it, it hurts so damn much." He wants to keep explaining everything but he's cut off by a sob constricting his lungs.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened," May presses gently, but Peter can tell that she's worried.

"Mr. Stark cancelled this afternoon and, and I was really excited. I got my, my hopes up. We were gonna play cards." He sniffs and tries to hold himself together. It all sounds so childish.

"Where are you?" May's voice is hard. "I'm coming to pick you up."

"No! No, it's okay. I'll swing home. I'm not too far. I'll see you then." If he can't be strong for himself, then Peter knows he has to be strong for her. He knows May didn't ask for any of this extra stress.

"Stay safe, please."

"I will." He ends the call and, even though he feels like staying out all night to distract himself, he heads home. It takes all of five minutes to get back to their apartment and he's quick to climb in the window. He loosens the suit and takes off the mask to put on regular clothes before May can burst into his room, which is exactly what she does. She must've heard him close the window because she's in his room by the time he has his clothes on. She doesn't waste any time in pulling him into a tight hug. One of her hands grabs the back of his head while the other rubs his back. Peter's arms instantly wrap around her and he lets everything go. All his emotions, anxieties, fears, everything, pours out of him in gut wrenching sobs. He doesn't think he has ever felt so shattered without a good reason.

"Why does it feel so bad?" he mumbles into her soft sweater with his eyes shut. She sighs.

"Because when the people we care about hurt us, we feel bad. It hurts more than it would if it were a stranger or someone who's not as close. Especially when they don't realize how much they've hurt us. Sometimes they come around, sometimes you have to explain it to them. You might have to explain it to him because I've never met a genius as dense as Tony Stark." She tries to lighten the mood, but his chest still aches. Luckily, Peter's senses seem to be more bearable.

"It's just that whenever I think he cares, he does something like this. It..." he loses his train of thought and buries his face in her shoulder instead. May shushes him, massaging the back of his head.

"I know, baby. Just let it out. There's nothing wrong with being upset." For some reason, her words snap Peter out of it.

"No." She pulls him back and looks at him partly in confusion and partly in concern. "No, no, no, y'know what? He doesn't get to make me feel like this." Peter shakes his head and lets his aunt go. "I've already wasted too much of my time worrying about what he thinks! It doesn't matter what he thinks! I don't care! I became Spider-Man all by myself! I didn't need him! I still don't! I knew what the right thing was and I did it months   before he even thought about meeting me! I did it all alone! I help people every day! I, I find people's pets and stop cars and fight robbers and, and I'm great at it!" May looks at her nephew through pained, watery eyes.