How To Live

Chapter Fourteen

The air is crisp and fresh, the rain from the night before leaving the grass wet with morning dew that I think suits the day that lies ahead of me. It is as though the world has decided to freshen up for this occasion, because it knows something important is about to happen.

I wake up at the crack of dawn, and just lie in bed, listening to the sounds of the morning, birds calling and gravel crunching under the wheels of my Dad's BMW as he leaves the house, heading off to work with absolutely no idea what today has in store. He is so clueless about the memorial service. He has no idea what the people across the tracks have been working so hard to organise and I am honoured to be a part of it.

I get out of bed and head down the hall, taking a quick shower and changing into a pair of jeans and a white shirt.

I smile at my reflection in the mirror and think of Tommy, my big brother, and the reason I am attending this memorial. Today should be a sad day, but I feel surprisingly at peace. Of course, Tommy's death is the reason I will be going to Bolton High School today and attending the commemorative service, but his death is also the reason I have the courage to step outside of my comfort zone. It feels like ever since Tommy died I have continued to learn things about him that I never knew, from people I never would have talked to in my life. His death has given me strength and independence and the bravery to stand up to my Father and stand with the people of Bolton, who are the heart and soul of this town.

I walk down the stairs and stop for a moment, surprised to see my mother in the kitchen, fully dressed. There are no pyjamas in sight, her hair is brushed and I think she might even be wearing makeup.

"You're awake." I say confused, staring at her and feeling slightly awkward.

I don't know how to be around her anymore, because I'm not the girl that I was when she used to care.

"I am. It's time things changed around here." She replies looking up from the newspaper that she is reading. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to join a memorial service at the High School. it has been organised by Reverend Sam from the church across the tracks." I tell her hesitantly, not sure how she will react.

"Over my dead body!" She exclaims taking a step towards me. "You will not be attending anything with those people Ashton, it is not the kind of event that the Mayor's family should support. Its bad publicity."

"No Mom, it isn't. It is about letting the people we lost know just them and miss them and it shouldn't matter where you come from, we all deserve the chance to show how much we love the people we have lost. You can't tell me what to do anymore." I hold up my hand cutting off whatever it is she is about to say next. "I have been suffering in silence over Tommy's death this summer, and I am glad that you have decided now it's time for you to finally pull yourself together, but I already did that on my own a long time ago. I will not be told what to do anymore by you, or Dad, or anyone else. I am sick and tired of pretending to be someone that I'm not, so today I am going to the memorial because I want to, and because my friends from across the tracks want me there." She stares at me with wide eyes filled with shock. "I didn't ask to be the Mayor's daughter and I am done abiding by the stupid rules and regulations of publicity. This family is a joke and I won't support the propaganda that you and Dad keep feeding the public any longer. We are not one big happy family, we are broken and hurting and I get that you would rather hide away than face what is happening with your marriage, but I can't sit by and continue to live a lie. I won't stay quiet when I know that my Father is doing the wrong thing. I know that I can't do anything for your marriage. That is not my place. But I can do something for Tommy and for Bolton, and I want to."

"Ashton, just stop and think about this-" Mom begins but I cut her off.

"You needed time to grieve and heal and I gave you that, but you should not have expected me to sit around and wait until you were ready to deal with things. I've pushed through my pain on my own and I have grown stronger. I have been through a lot Mom, and today I want to do something for my brother, who I love. I'll see you later." I call and head out of the front door towards Tommy's jeep, which I have now claimed as my own.