Sanders Sides ~ (One-Shots)

~Royality~ Platonic

Prompt: Pillow Fight

TW: Depressing Thoughts

Words: 822

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Patton's POV

     Why did i do that. I know i can go my own way. But i wanna just fit in. I wish i was more a part of the group.

     I was sitting on my bed, hugging one of my stuffies. In the last video we recorded it became very clear to me that I was not like the rest. Not in a bad way per say, its just they don't take me seriously. 

     I'm just the comic relief. aw look at the little guy.. I'm genuinely trying to help Thomas but I can't when the others perceive me as just a source of happiness.

     We all represent something different. Virgil may be anxiety, but he also is the source of safety and caution. Roman is creativity, but controls pride and courage. While Logan is logic, but also planning and organization. I represent Morality, all things happy and joy. But that's not true. I am the center of Thomas's emotions, good and bad. 

     I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Not again. I hate crying. I can't do this again. Every time I cry, Thomas can feel it. He can't feel sad just because of this dilemma. It shouldn't affect Thomas. I tried to stop. I kept sniffling. I can't. I let the tear flow, shoving my face into my teddy. My breath quickened. I heard steps outside my door. 

     What if they find me like this. They can't see how vulnerable I am

     The steps became louder

     No no no no. Stop. Be happy. Fake it. Don't let them in, they don't understand emotions.

     I heard a knock. I set my teddy aside and wiped away my tears and took a deep breath, reaching for the doorknob. turning and opening it, I saw Roman standing there, looking concerned. 

     "You ok Padre? I thought I heard someone crying."

     "Yep I'm fine. Maybe you just imagined it. I was just watching some cartoons!" I lied through my smile.

     "But Patton, your TV is off..." I turned around, to notice that, he was right. The remote was untouched. Turning back to roman, he stepped inside and closed the door behind him, leaning against it. "You said that you wouldn't hide your feelings from us anymore. What's going on." He questioned. he had a sympathetic look on his face.

Don't. Tell. Him.

     "I'm fine! really." Roman's head tilted, and his eyebrow raised, clearly not believing it. I sighed, and cleared my throat. "I've been feeling a little down since the last video." I answered truthfully. Roman but just grabbed my hand and brought me to my bed and sat down, motioning for me to do so as well. Once I was settled Roman began speaking.

     "What's on your mind Pat?" 

     "I just kinda feel like I don't fit in with you guys. You all know when to be serious, but that's tough for me. You guys just seem to keep having to reign me in, seeing as i'm nothing but a tiny little puffball to the group." I glanced up at Roman. He almost looked... hurt. I messed up. 

     "That's not true Patton." Roman put a hand on my shoulder. "You do know when to be serious, I can see you trying. You're doing amazing. We never want to make you feel left out, and if you do, feel free to speak up about it. We're all here for you padre." He finished.

     "Thanks kiddo. It just gets a little tough sometimes trying to be the happy personality i'm expected to be." 

     "But you don't always have to be happy. It's ok to be sad sometimes, it's normal." Roman leaned in and gave me a hug. I was definitely feeling better. He pulled back and set his hands on his lap, a small smile appearing on his face. Then, it got a little awkward. I didn't want to keep saying thank you, and I guess roman didn't know how to respond either. A few seconds passed by when I noticed a couple pillows right next to me.

*Bing*

     An Idea popped in my head. I grabbed a pillow and hit Roman in the head, I had my tongue sticking out of the side of my mouth. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "Oh it's on!" He grabbed the other pillow and immediately retaliated.

     We both stood up on the bed. He kept making remarks about how I wouldn't be able to defeat a prince. We kept hitting each other whilst bouncing on the bed. This is a great stress reliever! I eventually got tired and plopped my butt down on the bed, defeated.

     "YES! I HAVE DEFEATED THE DRAGON WITCH!" I chuckled to myself and Roman sat down next to me. "I'm glad we had this talk." He ruffled my hair and stood up and left my room, closing the door behind him. I let out a breath of relief 

I'm Fine.

A/N I'm gonna be going on vacation to see my grandma in Florida i like 2 days, and I might not have much time to write, sorry.