Dear Readers,
Here's the new and updated version of the prologue. I think it's quite a bit better than it was before. Thanks for reading!
Constructive Critism is always appreciated!
RedJade2000
“Oh, please, Barak, tell me the story again.” A small silver pup pleaded. He stared up at his father, his eyes wide with excitement. “Tell me it again.” his father’s eyes glittered with amusement in the dark den.
Barak shivered slightly as snowy gust of wind blew into the den. He ignored the cold wind and smiled down at his pup.
“Once, Hardwin, there was a glorious empire: the Rankin Empire. It had the black and white wolves and its greatness was unstoppable!” Barak’s dark brown pelt rippled and his sharp canine teeth glinted in the dark den. He stared down at the small silver wolf at his paws. “The leader of the esteemed empire, Shomari, was cruel; he hated the wolves there, even though he was one himself.
“Shomari wanted to be changed, he wanted to be human. He thought that humans were the great rulers of all wolves and he wished to become one.” Hardwin’s eyes widened, he had heard the story for many weeks, but it still intrigued him.
“Shomari had a magician, that followed his every whim. The great magician, Tora, was ordered to turn Shomari into a human. She didn’t want this, she thought it was evil and knew that it wouldn’t work. Shomari insisted but Tora refused once again. Shomari’s patience broke and he threatened her into doing it.
“‘If you do not turn me into a human, then I shall kill you and your family and make sure every pathetic wolf out there sees and knows!’ he spat. She didn’t want anything bad to happen to her family so she accepted his request..
“The night when Tora would turn Shomari into a human a great white wolf stepped into Shomari’s castle. The white wolf’s name was Isha, the holy wolf that the Creator sent to take down Shomari and to save the Rankin Empire.” Hardwin’s ears perked and he bounced in his seat. His eyes glinted slyly as he remembered the twist to the story.
“I want to tell this part, Barak.” He exclaimed proudly. His tail wagged as his father permitted him to speak. “Isha ran into Shomari and interrupted Tora’s chant. Shomari was very angry, ‘cause he thought that Isha was just a plain wolf, but he wasn’t. Isha attacked Shomari with everything he had. The black wolf didn’t have time to defend himself.
“Shomari was ashamed that he had been taken over by a strange white wolf. Especially since he was in his castle, and Tora was watching him. He was kinda a ladies man.” Barak snorted faintly, but looked amused. Hardwin grinned up at him.
“Isha was mad at Shomari for making the wolves of his Father suffer for so long. But Isha didn’t want to kill Shomari. He felt that there was something else in that black wolf and Isha used his powers to make sure Shomari knew what he did was bad.
“But Shomari didn’t feel any different and Isha was weak. Shomari was confident that he could kill Isha easily now but he was too cocky. By the time Shomari had killed Isha, Isha had taken away Shomari’s use of his right eye and part of Shomari’s ear, along with deep wounds.” As Hardwin finished Barak smiled at his son and his tail wagged proudly. “How’d I do, Barak?”
“Yes, Hardwin, you did wonderful, but the story is not done yet.” Barak looked up at the entrance of the den and he frowned in thought. “Shomari lived on after Tora had healed his wounds for she was an excellent healer as well. She had not been able to save his eye or his ear. Shomari’s heart grew colder with the bitterness of his loss of good looks.
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The Lost Empire
FantasyHardwin, a young wolf of the Walwyn Empire embarks on an epic adventure in search of his father. But when things go wrong, he will have to take on the responsibility to destroy an ancient threat that is looming over all the Empires. I hope you enjo...