Dear Diary

August 4th

(There's a special part at the end so there's more than the Diary entry in this part)
August 4th

Dear Diary

Today is the day I've decided that P'No should get the book. Or ask P'Sing to give it to him for me. Because I still have a major secret... something I can't tell anyone, not even my parents know this, only P'Sing knows and he promised to keep my secret.

I want to be with P' as long as I can, but I've come to realize that it will be a bit hard. I'm sorry P'No... I love you and will love you for the rest of my life.

×××

I hand my diary to P'Sing, with my head hung low and a cold feeling creeping through my body. I never wanted things to end this way but there's nothing left to do. It's for the best of us all.

"Tell him, that I love him and that he means everything to me. And most of all that I'm sorry."

"Kla... is it okay if I tell him the truth, he needs to know about the...Tumor... I'm sure he'll stay with you until the end..."

"P'... I don't want to hurt him like that... he can't know that I'm dying..."

"Don't you think it will hurt him more that you leave him now... after all you went through to be with him? After the emotional roller coaster YOU put him through,  and don't you think that at least him getting to spend the last of your life with you would be better than this? Yeah you die and leave him behind none the less, but at least he gets time to say goodbye to you."

"P'Sing... that's the thing... Yeah, he'll probably hurt, I  know that, but I  can't handle to see him hurt, and to know that I'm the reason would be even worse... so please, give him the diary... I  also have something for you, but please... don't open it until I'm gone..."

"Kla..." I can hear someone call my name and see Ai'Nic come running towards me and P'Sing. I can also see P'No across the field... Yeah I asked P'Sing to meet me at the university area because I still have classes and I knew P'No was supposed to be at work... so why is he here...

Nic slung his arm around me when he arrived and I cringed from the pain that shoot through my body.

"Ya Ai'Nic, let go. Let's talk later na P' just promise you'll do what I asked you..." P'Sing hug me briefly and then he walk. I gave him P'Nos number and went to my class.

"Kla... are you really leaving again? What about P'No?did you tell him?"

"Err... not yet I'm going to today..."

Lies... I'll probably just pack a duffel bag and my passport and leave... find a peaceful place, maybe a temple or something...where I can spend the rest of my life... the little I have left...

P'Sing POV

I look at my wristwatch, 4.30pm. I'm waiting outside  Siam Square... I had asked N'Techno to meet me here to give him the diary and talk about Kla.

I as him walking and straighten my posture, I greet him and ask if he'd like to sit down with me at a cafe nearby. We got escorted to a more private area and we sat down.

"N'No... so um... We need to talk about something and I understand if you get mad, or hurt but please hear me out and please do as I ask of you after this..."

"P'Sing... Is everything okay?"

"Kla... wanted me to give you this... and the reason for that is that he is dying and he wants you to know the whole truth... this is his diary. He began writing in this around the time he met you... and I know he had written about his situation here... Kla has a tumor, or more like several merged ones in his brain... they estimate him to have around a month left and I need you to stop him from leaving again... he said he wants to leave quietly...He didn't want you to stop him but I need you to do it..."

Techno is crying silently and I try to pay him comfortingly on the back.

"Please... stop him, he needs you..." I can't hold back my tears anymore and break down... except for August this is the first time I've cried in front of anyone... the first time I'm being vulnerable...

Techno stands from the table very suddenly and leave me sitting there... maybe he went to stop him... I hope so... I hope ha can do it before it's too late...